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I can’t wait to workout today! I’m going to do Chest & Biceps, actually I think I’ll do Tris and Lats, or maybe Legs and Abs. Fuck it! I’m lifting everything! I’ll do 16 sets of everything today. It doesn’t matter. I love weights! I fucking love lifting them!
I love the gym; I’m probably going to stay here for six hours today because I love working out so much!
Alright time to get busy.
I’m going to make incredibly obnoxious noises so the whole entire gym knows I’m lifting heavy weights. I can bench press 350 lbs. I can squat 500 lbs. Everyone will know this before I leave the gym today.
Jesus, my tan looks great under these lights! I think I'll step it up to four times a week and a couple extra minutes in the bed. I tan naked! I’m so tan everywhere! I love being tan!
I love protein shakes more than anything in life! I drink 50 protein shakes a day. I’m drinking one right now. I want to shit protein!
I fucking love this shit!
Is that a mirror? I'll look in it from the corner of eye so no one knows I’m looking at myself. God, I wish I could look dead-on at myself right now because I look that fucking good! LOOK AT MY BICEPS! They look so huge today. I know other people are looking at them, and I’ll just let them look. I don’t blame them one bit. My arms are enormous!
Shit! My batteries in my CD player are running low. Fuck! How am I supposed to listen to my Korn CD? How am I going to get pumped up without it? Damn, my arms look huge today!
Check out that chick. She fucking wants me. You can tell. I don’t blame her. I look great! … She wants to touch these ARMS! I will let her touch them if she asks nicely.
My penis is so small.
It doesn't really matter, I’m so ‘cut’ everywhere else. My chest and my arms are ripped! Besides, my penis gets a little bigger when it’s hard. It doesn't matter, I'm HUGE everywhere else. JUST LOOK AT THESE BICEPS!
I need a more supplements RIGHT NOW!! I’m going to GNC after the gym and I’m going to spend $800 on bullshit pills with this shitty gold card that proves I go to GNC. I’m going to buy Amino Acids, and everything else just to buy it! I just want to spend my money there so bad!
I think I’m done working out for the day. I could work out all day if I wanted too, but my HUGE muscles need to rest. I feel so swoll! I’m going to go get another protein shake. It helps my muscle recovery. I love protein so much!
Normally, I'd think you were bullied by muscular guys in high school, but you basically summarized all the things I hate about bodybuilders.
Ru
Where's the rest
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Posted: 4/15/2005 10:48:03 AM
I read this article yesterday, this morning half of it is missing....where's the rest? I killed myself laughing at this!!! Especially the penis the size of a volkswagen comment.
Brenda Della Casa
I Love Chad!
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Posted: 4/15/2005 10:51:28 AM
Chad:
This is hilarious and you are a buffed, badassed Mutha. As for the penis, an--date a Dwarf, she'll think you are huge!
BBB
TOO TRUE!!!
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Posted: 4/15/2005 11:11:40 AM
MAN! This is hysterical! The main reason is because it is so true! Everytime you go to any gym in the country, possibly the world, you will see this dude. At least one or two of them. I once saw a guy take his shirt off in a YMCA free weights room. I just started laughing! And I wasn't the only one. He made a b-line to the mens room and was out. And the grunting!? JESUS!!! Sometimes I think these dudes' balls are going to shoot through the floor! HAHA!! Too funny, man. Too funny.
matt
Steak it up!!
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Posted: 4/15/2005 11:32:07 AM
Fuck Yeah!! This article got me freaking pumped!!! I love free wirhuts, just you and the freaking steel, dude!! I love to steal it up at the gym every freaking day!!! I could just run outside and enjoy nature but screw that I like to lather my boidy in A1 and smell the sweet stench of workout funk!! Now to shower up and put on my striped shirt, crush a few yager blasters tonight and let honeys feel my rippled biceps!!
Gus
another classic
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Posted: 4/15/2005 11:57:02 AM
crying laughing, this and stripped shirt is the funniest shit I've ever read, is there more
BIG DON CORTINA
baby dick
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Posted: 4/15/2005 12:00:25 PM
I workout because I have a complex about my penis size. I tell everyone it's HUGE, but in reality, I'm hung like my brother Tony.....and we call him the YELLOW church mouse!
BIG DON
steve P
Right on!
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Posted: 4/15/2005 1:07:25 PM
This article is great! That guy works out at my gym, I'm actually talking about the guy in the picture above, I swear to God I think that guy actually works out at every gym in The Valley.
Anonymous
Hilarious
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Posted: 4/15/2005 1:30:10 PM
Absolutely Hilarious!
Mark
The Man
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Posted: 4/15/2005 1:58:49 PM
What a rip off of the striped shirt article. How about writing someting original!!!
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