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Maybe you'll remember THIS, bitch.
This is absolutely ridiculous. You're going to stand there and look me in the eyes and tell me I can't come into your Misshapes DJ dancing party? ME!?! I mean, do you even know who I am?
I was a professional baseball player in the Major Leagues! A pitcher. For the Dodgers. That's in LOS ANGELES! Maybe I'm not dressed "fly" like these other cool cats going into your nightclub here, but I'm on motherfucking baseball cards! I am a celebrity and I want to party - with the ladies!
Why!?! Because I'm Orel Fucking Hershiser, that's why! I guess you and your thick black glasses and your sideways trucker hat and your old ripped-up AC/DC shirt don't know anything about a little sport called America's Pastime! No? Then maybe you've heard of a little thing called The Eighties? Yeah, I was HUGE back then, bitch.
Wait, who was THAT guy you just let in? The Cobrasnake? What the fuck is The Cobrasnake, some kind of wrestler? Wrestling's not even real! I used to play baseball with Fernando goddamned Valenzuela! I don't care if he's the hippest photographer in the WORLD, I'm Orel Hershiser! I can't believe I have to put up with this shit!
You remember when Kirk Gibson hit that game-winning World Series homerun and as he hobbled around first he did that pump-fist thing that made you feel all choked up? Yeah, well I was fucking THERE. I told him to do that - I use it as a pitching warm-up. So let me into the party NOW or I'll pump my fist into your FACE!
Come on, I'll be cool, man. What did you say to me? No, I don't have any cocaineI I don't do drugs, but I did write a motivational book called Between the Lines! And I can still throw eighty-seven miles per-hour! Just let me in the fucking party, man!
I see a lot of the people you're letting in have moustaches. Now, I know I don't have a moustache, but I could. Just let me in this one time and next time I come back, I'll have a moustache, long black hair, the sunken eyes of a drug addict, a headband, and lots and lots of tattoos. I promise! Come on, what the fuck do want from me, I'm Orel Hershiser!
Alright, you know what, fuck this - I'm outta here! Just remember, man, you might think you're cool right now, standing there with your clipboard and your velvet rope, but remember this, asshole -- you'll always just be the guy who wouldn't let Orel Hershiser into the dance party. But you know what, buddy? I fucking AM Orel Hershiser.
Maybe if he was with Steve Fucking Sax and Rick "Too Sweet" Honeycutt he could of got in the club. Stupid bouncer. Orel is quite possibly the coolest name ever too, well, besides Dirk and Trey.
Christ
hmmm
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Post #: 4
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Posted: 4/20/2005 10:46:31 AM
Hello? "Orel" combined with a name with the root "hershey" is clearly gay. In case you didn't know, hershey has to do with the an*s.
Ryan
this is funny because..
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Posted: 4/20/2005 1:39:58 PM
so i'm at cedar point back when he played for the indians..
i've been waiting in line for the mean streak for a good 15 minutes when i'm about to get on.. this fuck, orel hershiser and his kids get to walk through the exit and get on the front car.
seriously.
i think it's time for a cedar point trip. maybe not..
b diddy
Party Two
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Posted: 4/20/2005 1:49:33 PM
I was at a party last week and I swear I heard Emilo Estavez having the same type of conversation.
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