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Cheering for the opposing team will get you punched!
Hey!!! Hey, douchebag! Yeah, you down in row 28! The fuck do you think you're doing out here?!? This is a Rockies game, and you think you're just gonna show up wearing that faggy blue Royals shit? You better watch your ass, cause if you cheer for the opposing team I will punch you in the face!
You must think I don't take this shit seriously. You see my backwards visor and fake platinum chain? That's fucking serious, champ, and I ain't above handing out an ass-whooping to some nancyboy who makes the mistake of showing up in Denver and disrespecting my Rockies! Woah, buddy! Woah! Those sunglasses don't scare me! I am a bail bondsman and I've handled darkies twice the size of you! Ever heard of Denver Dewey? Yeah, that's what I thought - you don't want any of this!
Yo, I don't care if you're just trying to "enjoy the game with your son"; you're wearing the opposing team's colors and that's a sign of war, faggot! You think I'm kidding with you? Then maybe you could tell me why me and my buddies have been pounding Wild Turkey shots in the parking lot since 9 am this morning - so we can be prepared to deal with dicklickers like you!
Oh, would you look at that - your little wussy son is crying! He must be a faggot like his father! HAHAHAHA! Waah waah daddy, why does the big scary man hate us? Because you're wearing the colors and logo of the opposing team, you snotty-faced little brat! This is the Major Leagues and my team is the BEST! Next time your daddy wants to take you out to the ballgame, tell him to leave the pussy blue colors at home, or else you're gonna have to watch another man give him a foot-enema during the 7th inning stretch!
Tell you what, Sally. Take off your shirt and I won't give you the beating of a lifetime here in front of your son. How old is he? Six? Yeah, he doesn't need to see firsthand the kind of brain damage I'm about to hand you for wearing that stupid fucking Royals jersey to my precious Coors Field. Speaking of Coors - Hey Lonnie! Throw me another bullet so I can wash down these garlic fries before beating the shit of this loser!
Why am I doing this? What're you, some kind of Law & Order lawyer or something with all your questions? I think our beef should be pretty obvious here, hombre. My shirt is black and purple and says "Rockies". Yours is blue and white and says "Royals". That means I hate you and have no choice but to beat your ass, if nothing else but to defend the sanctity of those brave, selfless men down there on the playing field, giving it their all for nothing more than the pride and enjoyment of a bail bondsman named Dewey.
Oh so that's how you're gonna do this, you're gonna call security? Fine! It ain't the first time, and it ain't gonna be the last! Lonnie! Double time on the Coors, I got a chug one down before the fuzz gets here! Hurry, here they come now!
Hey, Mike. Steve. Do me a favor and try to keep the cuffs loose this time, if you would. Thanks.
While I don't find Mr. Blagg nearly as funny as he finds himself, I don't really object to you publishing his crap in the World feature.
I do not, however, enjoy reading Mr. Blagg's rant in the sport section, where he obviously has no idea what he is talking about.
I am not willing to go to jail about this, though.
Matt
Rockies fans?
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Posted: 9/16/2005 3:03:45 AM
Rockies fans exist? Poor mother fuckers, at least the Royals got a ring before the end of days aka Steinbrenner.
What the hell happened to your "glory days" anyway?
Vinny Castilla - middle life crisis in Washington Andres Galarraga - can't even walk Neifi Perez - stuck in Chicago, and sucked complete ass in KC Walt Weiss - at least he got out and played for the Braves Dante Bichette - deceased more than likely Todd Helton - fuck this guy, overrated to all hell
And let's not even go into your pitching.
Larry Walker is the only one that's actually worth a shit out there.
Alex Blagg
Funny...
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Posted: 9/16/2005 3:53:56 AM
...Cause for someone who dislikes me so much, you must read my website. Are you a masochist?
Billy Zane
Actually...
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Posted: 9/16/2005 4:37:06 AM
I don't really dislike you, I just don't find you as funny as you find yourself.
You've got potential, I just wish you'd work your material out a little bit more before going public with it.
But what do I know? I'm bald.
deuce
awesome.
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Posted: 9/16/2005 6:47:21 AM
"Yo, I don't care if you're just trying to "enjoy the game with your son"; you're wearing the opposing team's colors and that's a sign of war, faggot! "
i was at a reds/cubs game (imagine that), and these cubs fans were screaming at this 12 year old kid (who was there with his family) because he had a pujols jersey on. if i had a nickel for every time i heard some form of "stick it up your pujols" i'd be retired at 25...
nice read.
John
Eagles Fans
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Posted: 9/16/2005 9:44:03 AM
You ought to see an Eagles game. Wear opposing colors at your own risk, b/c Chip from Front St. will kick you a*s for disrespecting the Birds that way.
And in response to Matt re: where former Rockies players have gone. Thanks to ESPN airing countless "web gems" from the Little League World Series on SportsCenter, Dante Bichette has moved on and can now be found placing impossible expectation on his son by coaching his kid's little league team.
B
Rockies blow
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Posted: 9/16/2005 10:09:51 AM
I thought only fags lived in Colorado. I'm willing to bet this guy would've whooped you had he not had his kid their. Don't fuck with those dudes from KC. They are actually a lot tougher than you look, fag.
sigh
phillies fans too
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Posted: 9/16/2005 10:15:47 AM
are the same way....especially when the mets come to town and 5000 of us come out to show more support then the phillies fans do..........they're in a race for the playoffs right now and cant even get 20000.......i love it
Patrick
PHL fans
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Posted: 9/16/2005 10:38:19 AM
John, No one named Chip would live on Front Street. But I do believe that someone named Chip could kick your ass.
Sigh, I love that millions of dollars still can't buy the Mets into the playoffs.
Both, Very original. Never heard someone trash Philadelphia fans before.
sigh
poor patrick.....
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Posted: 9/16/2005 10:56:35 AM
come back in 2 weeks when the phils DONT make the playoffs yet again...remember, we made the WS 5 years ago..whens the last time the phillies made the playoffs - '93.......
at least you have the flyers - except that hockey really isnt a sport anymore.......or at least one that anybody cares about...
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