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In 1941, WNBT, the New York City NBC affiliate, broadcast the first television commercial. It was an ad for Bulova Watches that ran before a Brooklyn Dodgers game which showed a watch superimposed over a map of the United States. A voice over proclaimed, "America runs on Bulova time." It cost the company nine dollars.
In the more than half century since, television advertising has become a multi-billion dollar industry. A thirty-second spot during this year's Super Bowl reportedly cost $2.6 million. Big companies spend additional millions subsidizing the coke habits of has been actors, Ferrari payments for hack movie directors between projects, and the destruction of Led Zeppelin's musical legacy.
So how does a local business that can't afford big name talent or in some cases any talent at all (in front of or behind the camera) compete? First of all, you make your ads louder. Louder is free. Then you just use a local celebrity, a local actor, or if you always dreamed of being TV, yourself. You can have a catchy jingle; those are cheap, or maybe just a catch phrase. That won't cost you anything.
But how do you shoot it? Most local network affiliates will send a crew of unpaid interns out to produce your commercial if you buy a package of airtime. And while you can't afford to run your ad during the Super Bowl, there is always second airing of Carson Daily, but that's pretty late. Better to run during the "World's Strongest Man 1983" marathon on ESPN2. At least that's during the day.
It's a dicey proposition to be sure, but every once in awhile you hit a homerun. You make a commercial so absurd, so ridiculous, so awful, that everyone is talking about it. It becomes a thing of local legend. It gets on YouTube. It makes it on to a list of some kind, and you sell three or four more used lamps. Mission accomplished.
And with that, I present to you The 50 Greatest Local TV Commercials (That I Could Find on YouTube). Support your local businesses.
50. Jhoon Rhee Taekwondo
What can I say about this ad? A fantastic jingle, slow motion, cute kids, a horrible catch phrase- this should have been much higher, but I wanted to kick things off strong.
49. Lincoln Auto Insurance
The use of Abraham Lincoln's face at the end takes what would have just been a hilariously offensive commercial and makes it borderline treason.
48. Stinky Septic
Maybe the worst jingle on the list, and that is really saying something.
47. ETZ Video
This ad is just so bizarre that it works. I would definitely shop at this place.
Posts: 92 Rank: 3156 Joined:
1/3/2007
Location:
Chicago, IL
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:35:49 AM
Its a local hot dog joint and their commercials boast Steve Wilcos, aka Steve the bouncer on Jerry Springer. They are pretty terrible, the other thing is I wonder how much they pay the poor girl to dress up like a hot dog. If you've seen it, you'll testify to the terribleness of these commercials.
Posts: 18 Rank: 3159 Joined:
2/23/2007
Location:
20190, VA
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:58:05 AM
Glad to see so many spots from the DC metro making the cut. (Joon Ree, Emprie Carpets and Easterns)
I haven't seen a Joon Ree ad in over a decade though. I think Joon Ree got caught teaching kids the art of ninja ball fondle.
The Empire ads still run and are as bad as ever. That fucking 588-2300 jingle haunts me. It makes me want to kick a puppy in the head.
As for Easterns' ads, they all suck. They also threw together a very catchy jingle and it is as infectious as AIDS with a side of herpes. My ex-GF worked at a local radio station and people would actully call up and request the damn commercial to hear the jingle. Who the hell requests a commercial? I bought Tivo and Sirius so I don't have to watch/listen to commercials. Things like that make me convinced that the majority of the population is as retarded as Sigfriend and Roy are gay.
Posts: 915 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Rock Hill (sucks), SC
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:11:04 AM
bn, good thought... but remember how long that "50 Things You'll Never Hear" stayed up? I figure this'll be at the top o' the page for at least two or three weeks too. That'll give you plenty of time to tie up and gag a couple of canadien hookers and force her to watch all 50 commercials with you.
Posts: 49 Rank: 72 Joined:
10/21/2005
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:24:03 AM
First of all, these aren't just regular commercials, they're hilarious. I'm no fan of TV commercials, but these aren't interrupting a TV show you like. They're interrupting you job... So don't act like you have better shit to do.
Second, we only do one top 50 a month, so they will always be up for several weeks, unless we do a second feature in a month, or switch that out to an ad for shirts or something.
Make sure you watch #6 and #1 even if that's all you watch.
Posts: 915 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Rock Hill (sucks), SC
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:47:25 AM
Charlie, .5: or would you prefer Mr. Demarco?
1.5: Is there a max comment limit to a column? Or can 'we' (those of us with such a sad existence that we virtually live on TPP) use the 'Top 50' monthly board as a playground to harass, self inflate, generally waste our time, and try to get fired from our day jobs for the entire month. ...I mean if i think of a great rip on bignick on sunday morning i need an outlet for it somewhere right?
2.5: What the hell is that you're pointing in the picture? I want to say the a buffalo testicle or maybe a silicon implant with a leak?
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