C'mon, Mike, just one hug for Dickie.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like for Dick Vitale to sit courtside at a Duke Basketball game?

Imagine being a teenage boy and sitting just a few feet away from Lindsay Lohan. And I’m talking red hair, big jugged Lindsay, not freakishly skinny, slowly decomposing in front of our very eyes, Lindsay.

Editor's Note: The new coke-head Lindsay Blowhan will snort rails off of your erect penis. So that is a bonus.

When Dickie V. announces a Blue Devils game in Cameron Indoor Stadium, he resides just mere inches away from a man that he can’t get enough of – Mike Krzyzewski.

Very simply put, Dick Vitale has a man-crush.

It’s fairly certain that this crush is not sexual in any way, but his garrulous appreciation of Coach K sometimes really makes me wonder. When you take a platonic appreciation of another man, add an unhealthy desire to be around and talk about that person, then throw in a touch of obsession - you have a standard issue man-crush.

Vitale is only one example. Surprisingly, the testosterone–spiked world of professional sports is a breeding ground for man-crushes.

Here are some of the top man-crushes in the sports world:

John Madden – Brett Favre
He’s the top color man in professional football; he has become an icon of the game, the namesake of the most influential sports video game in history, as well as the man the nation turns to for advice on the treatment of foot fungus. John Madden is another announcer who has reached the pinnacle of his profession, yet has let puppy love get the best of him. He’s showed that even the gruff world of professional football isn’t immune to the man-crush.

When it comes to Brett Favre, the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame quarterback, Madden is like a 300-lb schoolgirl. The Favre obsession is evident every time Green Bay laces them on a Monday night. Madden openly gushes making it clear that in his eyes this QB is above criticism.

Despite the obvious flaws in Brett Favre’s game- the pension for choking in Domes, the abundance of interceptions at critical moments – Madden sees only positives. He may not say it openly, but those who listen to Madden slobber over the Packers QB realize that Favre is the one man whose raw magnetism is enough to possibly turn the big man gay.

Pedro Gomez – Barry Bonds
Gomez, the tireless reporter for ESPN, is developing a serious affection for Barry Bonds. Assigned to cover the bulking slugger, Gomez has taken the gig to another level, reporting on everything Barry does on a day-to-day basis. Gomez is a few slow days away from filing a report live from the tree in Bond’s backyard, armed with binoculars in the place of a microphone.

If he could, there is no doubt Pedro would pull a Lt. Tuck Pendleton, shrink himself down and inject himself into Bonds’ troubled knee, just to get a closer look at what is ailing his man.

Please answer, Brett.

The fine line between man-crush and "stalker" is getting closer for Pedro.

John Miller – Hispanic Players
Unlike the others, Miller has spread his man-love around to multiple players. ESPN’s lead baseball announcer isn’t smitten with one particular player, rather a type of player. He’s a polygamist man-crusher.

If you are a Latin baseball star, Miller has an eye on you. Not only is he overly appreciative of your talents, he is eyeing up the back of your jersey and practicing the proper Spanish pronunciation of your name.

“On the mound tonight for the Dodgers is Odalis Pe-Rrrrrr-ez.”

Never have I heard a man derive so much pleasure out of rolling his R’s. His orgasmic slurring of the Latin names is a little uncomfortable to listen to.

Peter King – Bill Belichik
King, the author of SI.com’s popular Monday Morning Quarterback column is notorious for his addictions to Starbucks coffee and more recently to anything relating to New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichik.

Every Monday, King performs a print version of fellatio on Belichik, praising his every move regardless of their motives or results.

Pats lose? Wasn’t Bill’s fault, he’s a mastermind. The Pats select an unknown in the first round of last month’s NFL draft? King admitted he didn’t know anything about the player, but he was certain it was a genius move. After all, this is Belichik we’re talking about. And Peter loves him some Bill Belichik.

Chris Berman – Chris Berman
Miller’s colleague at ESPN, Chris Berman, has developed the extremely rare self man-crush. He simply has an unnatural obsession with himself. It’s the only explanation for the jokes that continue to appear each week on NFL Primetime. It’s confirmed that no one else thinks they’re funny. One can only imagine the joy that Chris Berman gets when he meets up with Chris Berman each morning in the bathroom mirror. It's a match made in heaven.

Roger Clemens – Andy Pettite
The 2004 Houston Astros offer another prime example of man love. In the offseason, they signed Andy Pettite to a long-term contract and just a few weeks later, somehow they were able to talk Roger Clemens out of retirement, using his unnatural bond with Pettite as bait.

Though they only spent a few seasons together in New York, Pettite and Clemens became fast friends and now presumably carpool to the park together and are inseparable roomies on the road. Some have made unsubstantiated claims that the two picnic together in the outfield of Minute Maid Park on off days.

Whatever the case, their relationship is not that of the average teammate. One wonders how far Clemens would have traveled to be with Pettite. If Andy would have signed with the Seibu Lions, Clemens might well be fluent in Japanese at this point.

Don’t blame Roger, though. No one is immune to the bug.