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Monday, May 12, 2008
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Jayson Mattthews San Francisco, CA - The Celebrity Gossip site CelebJihad.com is reporting that Danny Tanner, former co-host of the popular morning show Wake Up, San Francisco, has confessed to imprisoning his daughter in a cellar for 13 years and keepi... Read More>

Bassam Tarazi You know, at first I felt bad for my boy Wesley Snipes. I thought, damn...Wesley is in some tax issues. Life must be hard when you've only done Wildcats, Jungle Fever, Major League, White Men Can't Jump, and the Blade Trilogy, for your career. I thought he was t... Read More>

John Scheck A Zoological Exploration of One of Mankind's Closest Relatives
08:20 First Period. We must be very quiet so as not to disturb our sleeping subject. Studies indicate that this particular primate sub-species is dormant for about 80% of the traditional high school work day. He looks so pea... Read More>

Jeremy I cannot believe Harvard rejected my application! What does a home-schooled guy have to do? Show me another application so full of blessings from Jesus and I will show you lucky man. My mom tells me not to let it get me down, but I can't help but feel that this is somehow the fault of the homosex... Read More>

Brandon Huigens CHAPTER NINE
A shrill, female voice whistled through the phone holes: "Reverend Thaddeus, Private Investigator, " the voice said, awaiting my charmingly-off-beat introduction.
"How's the only man holier than Eddie Murphy doing these days?" I asked her.
"You really love that movie, do... Read More>

John Scheck Baseball games are one of the few occasions for adults to act like complete assholes with impunity. When they announce the players before the game I like to screech like a 13 year old girl at a boy band concert when they introduce the equipment manager. Is there a better excuse to have a beer before... Read More>

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The Adventures of Fruits the Cat
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My 'Tell It Like It Is' Speec...
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BEST ALL TIME VIEW HALL OF FAME>

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LAST MAY'S BEST

If She Smokes, She Pokes
by Sam Mechling Rating: 4.49

SCG: Spiderman vs. The Golden...
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FEATURED COLUMNS
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Every other Monday, Jayson and Rob try out products that were not intended for them.

This Week: Buy Curious: Designer Crap for Your Baby

Tomorrow: Other People's Mail
RECENT COLUMNS

Players to Be Named Later
by Jesse Lamovsky & Matthew L. McCoy
This Week: P2BNL: NBA Playoff Losers
Posted: 4/30/2008 Rating: 3.79 Comments: 287

Other People's Mail
by Juan Turlington
This Week: Culkanism and You
Posted: 4/28/2008 Rating: 3.74 Comments: 232

Players to Be Named Later
by Jesse Lamovsky & Matthew L. McCoy
This Week: P2BNL: Sunday Night Breakdown
Posted: 4/16/2008 Rating: 3.55 Comments: 124

Other People's Mail
by Juan Turlington
This Week: We're Awesome Because He Says So
Posted: 4/14/2008 Rating: 3.25 Comments: 397

The Ultimate Eleven
by Jim Fath & Rick Falcon
This Week: Ultimate 11 Band Feuds
Posted: 4/11/2008 Rating: 4.21 Comments: 97

WRITER OF THE WEEK VIEW PAST WINNERS>
View Profile Jayson Mattthews view profile>
Jayson Mattthews is the #7 rated writer overall with an average rating of 4.13 with 80 pieces published. Jayson Mattthews has won the award 7 times.
Most Recent Pieces:
Police Discover 'Full House of Horrors'
Ten Things I Hate(d) About Heath
Buy Curious: Airborne
Buy Curious: Doggy Steps
Satan files Anna Nicole paternity suit

Highest Rated Piece All-Time:
An Open Letter from Brad Pitt’s Penis

SHIRT OF THE MONTH
Shirt of the Month

We Coulda Had Him Tee

"Hey, man, we coulda had him. Hey! We coulda had him, man!"
"I will fire when I'm goddamn good and ready! You got that?!"

Look At My Striped Shirt - The Book
ACTIVE MESSAGE BOARD TOPICS

Police Discover 'Full House of Horrors' by Jayson Mattthews
361 Posts This Week / 361 Total

Sniped by Bassam Tarazi
274 Posts This Week / 274 Total

Gym Teachers in the Mist by John Scheck
134 Posts This Week / 134 Total

The Adventures of Fruits the Cat by Brandon Huigens
7 Posts This Week / 85 Total

Homeschool Valedictorian by Jeremy
2 Posts This Week / 39 Total


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