 | Moore: Unfirable? |
Try as he might, 26 year old dishwasher Kevin Moore cannot get terminated from his employment at the Cracker Barrel Restaurant in Twinsburg, Ohio.
I dont know what the fuck I have to do man, Moore vented, Ive got to be the worst employee in the history of this place, but they just wont give me the axe.
 | Day Manager Matthews |
Moore, who is consistently late for his shifts if he shows up at all, has been caught sleeping, smoking marijuana and stealing entire boxes of frozen chicken fingers to take home from the restaurant. None of these transgressions have resulted in his dismissal.
According to 32 year old Cracker Barrel day manager Todd Matthews, Moores apparent invulnerability to discharge is simple, Washing dishes blows, said Matthews, And if I fire Kevin in the middle of a shift, that means I have to wash the dishes. Fuck that shit, he continued. Sometimes the rest of the kitchen staff bitches because hes always out of uniform, there are days when he wont even wear a shirt. But I just ask them if they want to wash all the God damned dishes and they shut up pretty fast.
When asked why he simply doesnt quit his job if he is unhappy with his work, Moore revealed that he feared it would sour his chances of receiving unemployment compensation. Im not gonna blow my chance to suck on that big fat government titty for a while, said Moore, Theyll have to fire me one of these days. Then its me, Grand Theft Auto and Mary Jane till the checks stop comin.
 |
