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Posted: 4/12/2005
PORTLAND, Ore. Over 200 youngsters got an early burst of holiday cheer Monday when Portland Trail Blazers favorites Darius Miles, Damon Stoudamire, Ruben Patterson, Theo Ratliff, Zach Randolph, Nick Van Exel, Rookie- Sebastian Telfair, The Blazer Dance Team, and the team mascot Blaze, stopped by Portlands Legacy Emanuel Childrens Hospital for the afternoon. The players, Dancers and, yes, even Blaze signed autographs and gave out mini-basketballs, pennants, t-shirts and stickers to the pint-sized patients wholl spend the holidays in the hospital.

Im a great guy for doing this, Van Exel said. Being here at this hospital with all these dying kids just proves Im a great guy. Anytime we can come out for five minutes with the media here, Im all about it!" Van Exel continued, "These kids are sick and theyre struggling, but I try not to let it bring me down. It gets depressing as hell, but I like to go out and buy myself something afterward, like new speakers for my car or something, I deserve it for doing all this work and shit.

As soon as they entered the hospital, the players broke up into groups of three and headed from floor to floor signing a never-ending stream of autographs for a modest fee. They begrudgingly interacted with the patients and their families while politely declining non-media photo requests.

During a lull in the visit, while Blazers PR staff tried to settle an argument between Ruben Patterson and a twenty-year old nursing assistant who claimed Patterson had groped her, Damon Stoudamire took the opportunity to refill hundreds of prescriptions. The lack of pharmacy staff didn't slow him down, Damon remarked, "where the Oxy Contin' at, where's it at? Here's that shit."

Another uncomfortable moment came when center, Theo Ratliff joked that the children in the burn ward made him want to watch Scarface, but the moment was saved by Zach Randolph. The Former All-Star took time out from two-waying on his Sidekick mobile device to bust a freestyle rap about shooting a hooker who turned out to be a man. The children loved it, but the hospital staff seemed very interested in moving on.

Randolph remarked, This is the time of year the NBA makes us give back. I'm tryin' to keep it real, but I gotta pick up my rims for my Escalade today, ya know? Im just trying to play ball, fuck, and get paid! But I aint trying to get no fine either, so thats why Im here today.

This is one of the highlights of the year for these kids, PCH Communications Director Scott Swiggert added. Anytime we can force these NBA players to come out, its almost miracle. These poor unfortunate kids forget for just a minute why theyre here and forget about their illness. They really appreciate it.

The kids werent the only basketball fans excited to meet the high-profile guests. According to Megan Doniti, the day was as much for the families as it was for their kids. The older Trail Blazers fans were encouraged to partake in the days festivities alongside their children.

People forget that the parents are going through a difficult time, Doniti said. If you have your child in the hospital, it is not fun for any member of the family. A lot of times siblings are here visiting, too. So sisters and brothers get to share in the joy of having the players visit.

The female family members seemed especially excited when Darius Miles pulled out his video camera in the lounge. The rest of the Blazers crowded around as the Moms and Sisters of the patients, as they danced and flashed their breasts to the camera. Two of the Mothers even made out to the delight of the players. Theo Ratliff lead the team in a chant of, "where all the white women at?!" It was a testament to ability of these visits to make everyone forget about the tough times they are going through.

A lot of the (kids) here are down and out, said a grateful Jamie DeLuke whose son Ricky has spinal meningitis. So it is great that they get to see their idols, and it is nice for us to meet some guys with health insurance.

While young Ricky DeLuke said that his favorite player was Shaq but he might just have to settle for Sebastian Telefaro, who was seen leaving with his mother. As for the rest of the Trail Blazers, Darius Miles had this to say, "Yeah it ain't a inconvenience, it makes you feel all good and shit to bring a smile to a little nigga, but- Oh fuck, it's two-thirty?! I gotta roll Im supposed to get my braids done at three because MTV Cribs is going to be at my spot tomorrow. D-Miles gots to go, Peace bitches!"

It was just another example of NBA players giving back to the community. It was also an opportunity for several of the players to fulfill some court mandated community service hours. Consider it mission accomplished.

 

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(Comments 1-5 out of 8)

VAGINA
Posted: 4/30/2005

vagina

Theo Ratliff
Posted: 4/12/2005

The man has been a model citizen and not just by NBA standards since he left Demopolis, Ala., and I take offense to him being lampooned in this fake news article.

I understand mocking Nick Van Exel, Damon Stoudamire and Zach Randolph. After all, those guys have been involved in earning the monicker Jail Blazers. But Ratliff hasn't and it's not right to lump him in with the rest of those assholes.

That fucked up my enjoyment of an otherwise funny article.


ANIMALS!
Posted: 3/8/2005

That sad part is, this article isn't far from the truth.

Slander!
Posted: 3/8/2005

You're slandering the Jail Blazers, Z-man! How could you?



I love this article
Posted: 3/7/2005

I love this article so much I am going to have it tatooed on my back!

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