I love the internet. Ive met so many new and interesting people because of it. For example, do you know Meagan? (This is Meagan.) Shes 19-years-old and very nice. Even though I had no idea who she was, she took the time to personally introduce herself to me through an online community I belong to. Interestingly enough, she did the same thing to my roommate, along with every other male that I know. I thought it was rude how they all deleted her note, so I decided to write her back and accept her offer for friendship.
Meagans message
hello! Hey, how are you? I think that I just may be your type :) Im attractive, fun, free spirited and open-minded willing to try anything once, you know :) Well, just about anything. Ask first please and if I like it, Ill do it over and over again. Lol. How about contacting me? Would you email me some photos of you? I'll trade you, and maybe even take requests ;P - Meagan
My reply
Dear Meagan, Thank you so much for getting in contact with me. Youre right, I think we would make a good fit. I am also willing to try anything once. Maybe even twice if you dont bruise easily. Wink, wink. Do I have something in my eye? No, I am suggestively winking.
Since you did say you would try just about anything once and if you liked it, over and over again, here is a list of things Im wondering if you would be willing to try.
Causes Aids.
1. Eat a pound of mayonnaise. 2. Go to a sad movie with me and whisper to the couple in front of us, If you cry, Ill kill you. 3. Shave my back. Over and over again.
LMAO. (That means laughing my ass off.)
Your musical tastes are very impressive. Bright Eyes, Third Eye Blind, Radiohead, Linkin Park never have I met someone who simultaneously likes both my favorite and most hated bands. Its like being able to see The Clash, but only after New Found Glory opens for them. With a 6-hour set. Im starting to doubt if this friendship would work, because whenever I see a Maroon 5 CD, I physically have to break it or somewhere a small child dies of Aids. Im sure if you never heard music before, people would probably tolerate Ryan Adams, but I was born with a terrible disease called standards.
By the way, I was very surprised that such a "now or never, live by the moment" type of girl would have to blindly send out messages to make friends. Dont worry. You are a free spirit which also means hobo slut. Im sure youll have tons of middle-aged tattooed friends in no time.
One heck of a first date.
ILLIJGMFAAPWTG. (Im laughing like I just got mind fucked and am pregnant with the giggles.)
But seriously, we should totally hang out and I should pay you for sex.
Yours truly, Ron the Destroyer Ps Here are those photos of me that you asked for. Please excuse my hairy back. I havent found anyone to shave it, yet. Wink. ;P
Crying over here... Posted: 2/9/2006by: Carrington Seriously lost it with the "mind fuck and pregnant with the giggles" line ... lost it at work and now co-workers think I'm insane. I think I'll roll with that assumption for awhile . =) Thanks for the funny. hookers = marketers Posted: 2/8/2006by: Max You know, I got a similar come on from a different, 18-year-old girl:
http://www.myspace.com/heidilumpkin
Here is the text: ------- "Hi...you should know that this isn't my profile...I'm just using a friend's account to get online... So here I am...online, looking around, trying to get back in the dating game... I know people complain a lot about the dating scene...I don't mind it, though... You know, you're not going to find a great guy without even looking... So I'm on here, doing some LOOKING, and I came across you and really wanted to drop you a line... Hope you're doing well I would love to know more about you, apart from your limited profile...so feel free to email me at kris_lopez8826@yahoo. Hoping for that message...soon... " ----- I fired back something pretty nasty: ----- "Are you a robot? Something tells me you are a stealth marketer. If that is the case, fuck off and die. If you are actually an 18-year-old girl, hit me back." ------ Needless to say, she didn't. I was (and am) pretty sure that I was right and it was a ploy to get live email addresses. But it never even occurred to me that she might be a hooker. i think i'm in love Posted: 2/8/2006by: r ron babcock, will you marry me? McFly Posted: 2/8/2006by: Best Line "Is there something in my eye? No, I'm suggestively winking." Loved that line. I also like your abbreviations like "LMAO" or "ILLIJGMFAAPWTG", great stuff. Nothing makes me feel better about myself than making fun of people lamer than I.
Licensed to ill Posted: 2/8/2006by: Greg Green River Your uncanny ability to criticize music of today is remarkable. I often use to the analogy of lighting a twenty dollar bill and throwing it out the window is equivelent to purchasing a CD today.
