 | Support something deadbeat |
New Jersey-based novelty company CEO Jeremy Deluca, recently overhauled his product line to take advantage of the thriving awareness industry. Del Marco's company, LastLaugh Inc., up until two years ago, made the majority its profits from a popular line of synthetic vomit and oversized plastic cigars. Last year, however, Deluca's CareCorps Inc., a subsidiary of LastLaugh, netted record sales by tapping directly into human compassion.
"The awareness industry is huge," Deluca said. "What? You don't support our troops? You like cancer? Put on a freakin' bracelet. What the hell's wrong with you," Deluca added, adjusting his watch along with one of his four rubber awareness bracelets.
"You got AIDS? Rosacea? Shin splints? I got a bracelet for it somewheres."
Since the inception of CareCorps, Deluca has saturated the awareness market. He distributes products to every Midwest Huck's gas station, British Petroleum and Casey's General, 14 area mall kiosks,not to mention his Internet storefront that carries the entire line.
"Between you, me and everybody else, when those troop ribbons blew up, I got in fast," Deluca said. "Now I got Support Our Troops, Pray for Our Troops, Remember Our Troops, Be Aware of Our Troops, Calvin pissing on Saddam stickers, Bush pissing on Saddam, Earnhardt pissing on Saddam, Calvin pissing on Gordon you name it. If you ain't got one, you ain't American. That's how I see it."
 | Hope needs support and awareness |
Deluca said he hopes everyone will support his newest awareness campaign for supporting awareness. With a nod to Lance Armstrong and his fund-raising "Live Strong" bracelets, Deluca recently introduced a line of yellow bracelets emblazoned with the phrase, "You Go Lance."
"They're to support those that support Lance What's-His-Name's cancer stuff," Deluca said. "No no money to charity for these, but you got to support those people. Aren't you aware that they support a worthy cause?"
At the CareCorps plant, Deluca temporarily shut down the bracelet molds to fill an order for 40 dozen dollops of his popular rubber dog poop, but support did not leave his mind as it temporarily left the factory floor.
 | Supportin' the shit out of things |
"I think we all need to come together on this, on all of it. You can drive around without a magnet, but it's the same as slapping a soldier in the face, or punching a cancer patient. It ain't American. It ain't right. Check out CareCorps.com. There's got to be something you want to support. I got bracelets to raise awareness of retards, the red ones are for firemen to be aware of them, I guess if you want a funny magnet ribbon, you can buy one that says Support My Habit. Ain't that a hoot? But, seriously, you gotta support something."
Deluca, whose own Cadillac Escalade is adorned with magnetic ribbons of support for "Our Troops," as well as six types of cancer and pugs, has the foresight to think about the causes that will need increased awareness and support in the future.
"If the war stops, or people stop wearing those rubber bracelets, that would hurt my bottom line pretty bad. I mean, those jelly bracelets are selling like goddamned Swatch Guards," Deluca said. "But I got my feelers out for the next big thing. I'm talking to Larry The Cable Guy's people and some pro-choice honchos about a collaboration. I think Git-R-Done bumper stickers would really take off. The pro-choice side is really lagging behind when it comes to catchy slogans."
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