Posts: 4 Rank: 198
Member Since:
10/24/2005
Location:
Chicago, IL
Posted: 6/19/2006
Windshields Stay Crunchy in Milk!
After a wonderful sabbatical in Goshin Indiana, it’s time to sit down and write an article for the Phat Phree. Christ! What to write about? I got nothing. Let’s just start writing and see how it goes. Okay. Here we go…
“Look at my French cuffed jeans… Look at them!-“
NO!! STOP!
Jesus Christ! That MIGHT have been funny in 1987 but then again, probably not. Plus I think I’ve “borrowed” enough ideas from Mike Polk as it is.
Man this is hard! Okay, what about sports? I don’t really kno...
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It's not foopa...It's an acronym: F.U.P.A.-Fat Upper Pussy Area.....
M
FOOPA?
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Posted: 6/19/2006 8:31:20 AM
I thought it was called a Gunt. Half gut, half, well you know.
Pedantic Ass
Funny
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Post #: 4
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Posted: 6/19/2006 9:24:19 AM
Good stuff. But, it's "teeming" not "teaming."
Amanda
Typo
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Posted: 6/19/2006 9:51:42 AM
It's Goshen, not Goshin - So where were you really?
That Guy
This Article
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Posted: 6/19/2006 10:51:05 AM
would have been better if you had mentioned how some of the commenters obsess over spelling errors and typo's.
deuce
fath
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Posted: 6/19/2006 10:57:57 AM
great roethlisberger pic. the look on his face really reinforces that he may not have needed a helmet at all...
Joe Kickass
Nice
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Post #: 8
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Posted: 6/19/2006 1:23:28 PM
Well done Fath. In particular, the rapeable face line and Fonz punching her like a jukebox until she miscarried were awesome.
That Guy, nice addition.
Joe Kickass
Oh
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Posted: 6/19/2006 1:26:03 PM
Another idea: Mark Cuban sends email to NBA Comissioner bitching about Dirk's eggs showing up cold at local Denny's. "Everyone else in the league gets their eggs the way they want them. It's unfair that our team gets singled out." Okay so that wouldn't work either, but I fucking hate that crybaby douchebag. You might say, he's a breast-feeding baby (hyphenated).
Bruno
One more
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Posted: 6/19/2006 1:50:26 PM
How about "Metallica is a cunt that doesn't care about people who want to listen to their old music"?
I'd love to get some Master of Puppets songs on iTunes. But does Metallica do iTunes? No.
Instead, I would like to build a iron-and-bronze-studded cast for my right arm so I could hoist it lung-deep up Lars' ass.
Lars needs to bathe in hydrogen cyanide.
Christine
A very happy non-article to you
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Posted: 6/19/2006 2:45:00 PM
I liked it. I love when an author knows half the people reading his shit are morons that won't understand it. Good Job Jim!
Another idea you could have thrown in was an article about "Hoggin '06". Its an annual contest taking place down the shore in a few weeks (started by my brother and his friends), in which they wear tee shirts with HOGGIN written clearly on the shirt. The goal is to hook up with as many "plump" females as possible. the winner takes home the Hog cup. I am appalled by this and will kill myself if I am approached.
Tangent Guy
Ho-Hum until
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Post #: 12
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Posted: 6/19/2006 3:18:24 PM
I got to the section about "Peanuts" - instant classic!
Brocktoon
Hey Alright
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Posted: 6/19/2006 6:21:49 PM
you are a pretty great fella! good job
Fanmenace
Fanmenace
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Posted: 6/20/2006 12:20:04 AM
I think the medical term for 'Foopa ' is 'Crotch boobs'. No, wait a sec, I made that one up. 'Crotch boobs' probably won't work anyway - a negative out of two positives, 'Crotch' and 'Boobs', is downright uncool.
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