Posts: 4 Rank: 198
Member Since:
10/24/2005
Location:
Chicago, IL
Posted: 9/13/2007
Hello... I'm here to raise your Insurance
Being males in our early 20's (emotionally speaking) both Rick and I have had our fair share of run-ins with members of law enforcement and in almost every case we were always greeted with a generous amount of attitude and sometimes with just a hint of taser.
It goes without saying that most cops are assholes and, in their defense, they have to be. The hours and pay are usually shit; you have to deal with the absolute dregs of society; plus there's that gay ass uniform complete with matchin...
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Holy shit, I have had a problem with almost every one of these types of police.
One time I had an asshole auxilary cop tell me that he would take me downtown too if I didn't stop talking to the perp he was arresting. When I asked him what the charge would be, he said "Breaching my peace".
My latest run in was with a combo lawman: the auxillary state trooper. And he was none too happy when he realized the only way to communicate with me was to refer to me as, "King of Syrup."
Also, the only cop i know dropped out of college after earning a less than stellar 0.32 his last semester in school by pretending to have mono. ...he's been promoted twice in 3 years
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:44:46 AM
This dipshit campus cop perosnally busted me 4 times in my time at Berkeley. Fuckwad.
Also, never go to Newport Beach for the 4th of July. Just trust me. Every schmuck cop from Orange Colunty pull duty there for this otherwise glorious holiday. While getting an open container ticket I had a 10 minute discussion with one about "the word of the law vs. the spirit of the law." They told me they had never been talked to this way and didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.
Posts: 16 Rank: 194 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Reading, PA
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:08:08 AM
Kudos to the suburban cops. Running speed traps, collecting kids caught shoplifting at the mall, breaking up packs of skateboarders, sitting in my office parking lot for hours on end. No safer place at night than the Dunkin Donuts.
Thanks for "fighting crime", you guys are the real "heroes"
Posts: 300 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:10:16 AM
Actually is cutting edge. You know those giant radar "bulbs" that big ass yatchs have? Well, each of the 20 2008 Chevy Suburban MSU's campus uses has one of those on it, and they not only see if a damn missile is coming at them, but those fuckers have swivel cameras, night vision, and sound magnification on their cars. We could be 5 blocks away and they can hear a conversation of "why it's dangerous to smoke pot on the street".
Besides the time the cops came to investigate who stole my shitty roommate's shit. and the whole "drunken roommate on a futon" thing, the one time I almost got busted, my buddy and I were caught with about 8 bottles left in a 24 of Corona (I was a senior in high school, and I was visiting my brother down here over break, and I tell this to you because I know, I was a lame-ass), and the cops asked to see some I.D. I sighed, knowing how fucked I was (since I was 18), and as I pulled out my vertical license, my Eagle Scout Card fell out. He looked at both, grabbed the beer, threw it in the trunk, and told us to go home.
I'm gonna have to say, I think County Sherriff should be higher on the list as I have been harrassed by these jackasses on numerous occasions. The worst of which being in Holy Pond, Alabama returning home from a show at 2 in the morning. The jackass rides my ass for at least 10 minutes searching for some reason to pull me over. Then finally does pull me over out of the "town" away from all houses, traffic, and street lights. I was seriously thinking I was about to be one of those stories on the news about fake cop rapes and kills. I was beyond shady. Procedes to hold me up for 45 minutes while he searches the car. Finds nothing and lets me go without a ticket or anything. It should also be mentioned the only reason he could find to pull me over is ONE of the lights around my tag was burnt out (he could still clearly read it and this didn't warrent a search.) I told my friend who was with me that he probably went home and beat his wife cause he didn't get to arrest us. Needless to say, I haven't and won't be returning to Alabama again in this lifetime.
Posts: 16 Rank: 186 Joined:
12/12/2006
Location:
Swilladelphia, PA
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:47:08 AM
I love how the cop is all, "fuck this, fuck you, and fuck everyone. I am KING!" And then he sees the camera and is like "what's that? I have a camera too. It's gonna show you weaving all over the road. And your turn signal and stuff!"
That fuckin piece of shit screaming about who knows the law? What a fucking shit-sniffer. Then he turns into his buddy, "hey, what do you do for work? People commit suicide here so I'm just lookin' out for you." What fucking smacked ass. I sat and listened to that whole fucking thing just seething and couldn't turn it off. I want to go punch a fuckin' dick cop right now.
Posts: 173 Rank: 36 Joined:
8/29/2007
Location:
Boston, MA
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:57:07 AM
Coming from the meter-ridden city of Boston, I'd had my fair share of run ins with meter maids. These fucknuts have the blackest of souls. In a couple of occasions I've even seen them countdown by my car aching to slap me with a $25 piece of shit ticket. If I get one more boot on my pathetic Sentra, I'm pulling a Homer... fuck it.
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:20:58 AM
I'm not bright, duh, anyways in the course of 1 year i dated a cop's (cop in the city i lived in) not quite ex-wife (going throgh divorce but still married), next chick i was fucking was a cop's ex-fiance (again cop in the city i lived in), then dated a chick that later told me she was also dating a state trooper! She was all "I really like both of you do you mind if we keep seeing [read to mean "fucking"] eachother?" She told me this at a wedding, she was my date, I gave her money for a taxi and told her to have a good night.
NONE OF THIS IS FABRICATED IN ANY MANNER. Cops in my hometown should have a pic of me on the wall, cause they know i'll fuck there
Posts: 1166 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:21:42 AM
What a cock sucker. I love how he tried to pull the "I'm a good guy but was reacting to your attitude" thing once he realized he could be screwed since the kid had a camera.
Transit Police Caption: "You want to take a ride downtown asshole, get your feet off the seat"
Aux Police Caption: White Guy: "Ok I think I got it, ss this how I do the west side sign?" Black Thinking (Maaaaaan how the fuck I get stuck with this crazy cracka)
Posts: 831 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Washington, DC
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:30:42 AM
Dealing with DC's finest is like being Heston in Planet of the Apes.
I got pulled over last year ‘cause someone had stolen the registration stickers off my plates. Despite being able to prove this, Sgt. Darkie felt obligated to take me in. I ended up spending 3 hrs in the clink because their records showed that I had one. The fact that my supposed rap sheet included a mug shot of some spearchucker (plate lip kind) attached to it was lost on "them". Christ.
time not being funny (to me, never them) when I have to deal with cops. My confidence in my ability to get myself out of it later combined with my inability to keep the joke to myself lead to more than a few nights in the can during my youth. During college, I once got a cop so pissed that he took his badge and gun off and set them on the hood of his car, and challenged me to a street fight. Luckily, for me, two other cops ran up and pulled him away.
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:46:48 AM
I'm a wanted man in the city of Milwaukee due to 2 or 27 unpaid parking tickets. I would get parking tickets placed on my windshield directly above the pass I purchased ALLOWING me to park on the street.
I actually set my alarm to wake me up at 3:00AM one day so that I could dress all in black and wait for the parking ticket-er to come around the block so that I could pull him out of that stupid fucking glorified golf cart and beat the living shit out of him. Thankfully I thought better of assulting an "officer" before going through with it.
Posts: 2923 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/13/2007 10:59:58 AM
Annabelle is black
This article was fantastic, thank you. its sublime.
I rode through a red light on my bike last week and then I heard a siren and flashing lights. I almost shit myself. I'm so poor right now, a ticket for riding your bike through a red light is almost too embarrassing to pay. Before I even saw hime, I decided to make a joke and said, "sorry officer, but I can't seem to shake this god damn paparizzi". Turns out, I knew him, it was my friend Chris and he was messing with me. But I still think I found a new awesome excuse.
Spartan, I changed our picture bet. Now, you have to stand in front of your local police station holding a package of bacon.
There is hope that the glory days of TPP will return. Only criticism is that MP's should be higher. Being an MP makes a Private act like his a fucking 5 star general.
SS, if I win this week I expect a photoshop of me being surrounded by cocaine, Marisa Miller, and Briana Banks in a tropical setting drinking champagne. If I lose, I guess a photoshop of me with Christine in bed? Your call.
dc, agreed on the glory days comment. But the last sentence on your post #22 is very BigNickesque. There's only one king at that stuff.
"Everybody's very happy, cuz the sun shines all the time! Looks like another perfect day, I love LA!"
Posts: 607 Rank: 21 Joined:
12/8/2006
Location:
north babylon, NY
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:12:42 AM
Cops in your high school huh? I don't think I'd last a minute on those mean streets of La Crosse, Wisconson....
DC, what the fuck? I didn't lose a bet. How did I get dragged into this?
Vert, I see your black, male cop and I raise you an OLD, black, male cop. It's like reverse retribution for these guys. I got pulled over by one once for speeding. Fuckin Noug was openly taunting me. I could tell he was waiting for me to slip up so that he could release the rediculous amount of slavery-based hate he has for white people on me.
Posts: 2115 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:14:18 AM
I remember this one time that I punched a bum out front of the Best Buy. That rent-a-cop tried giving me the business, but I told him that I knew a lawyer in Florida. That settled that little issue reallllll quick.
