Another birthday party? Its like these people know I am on a diet and they just want to torture me. That cake looks so good though I really have a weakness for chocolate frosting. Maybe just a small piece- the one with the big flower on it.
Ive been so good this week. Ive even been doing my butt flexing exercises at my desk everyday. Now, that is exhausting! Ive lost six pounds in thirty-one days, and this time I am keeping it off. Whats one piece of cake?
Besides, I deserve a snack for being so good.
My doctor says I shouldnt use food as a reward, but he has no idea how hard it is to stay on this diet. And what other kind of rewards are there anyway? What, am I going to take a trip somewhere? Not if I have to buy two seats! Those jerks at Southwest have got some nerve embarrassing people like that. So what if the armrest wont go completely down? How is it a safety hazard if my arm rests on my side instead the armrest? And if they were really concerned with the comfort of the other passengers, they wouldnt be serving tiny bags of pretzels on the flights. Theyd be serving ice cream or Cinnabon!
Oh God, Cinnabon
I could eat a whole tray of those delicious cinnamon rolls, and Id wash it down with a huge glass of their creamy frosting. That would be sooooo good! Mmmmm. Now why cant their be a Cinnabon diet?! There is a diet for everything else. I swear, if there were a diet where all you could eat was Cinnabon and Kentucky Fried Chicken I would lose so much weight! I should write a diet book. Id call it the Food Court Diet-
Oh darn it! That jerk Bob from accounting took the flower piece. Now hes giving me the you dont need the flower piece, Emily, youre too fat look. That son of a bitch, he doesnt know what its like to be judged all the time. At least I got a side piece, but this doesnt even count as a snack now.
Ill get my snack after work a bucket of chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and then some Cinnabon. And a bag of potato chips. I looooove potato chips I remember those old Lays commercials with Jay Leno where he would say that you couldnt eat just one. Those were so funny because its so true! You cant eat just one! As soon as the bag is gone, you have to eat another. They are sooooo good!
I am going to get some chips at the store on my way home. I deserve it.
I also need to get some marshmallows. Ive been craving Rice Crispy treats ever since I found that one stuck to the inside of my desk drawer yesterday. Im not sure where it came from, but it was still pretty good. That didnt count as a snack because I didnt intend on eating it. It was just there. I mean no one can turn down a Rice Crispy treat. They are tooooo yummy!
Everyone is leaving? But, there is still a piece left I guess Ill eat it. Ive been so good lately.
Sweet Posted: 3/8/2006by: Derek funny....funny ....funny................. Oh man... Posted: 3/8/2006by: TIMMAH I was laughing a lot at this article until I realized I was that troll in the article a while ago... only male... I've recently been declared "not a fatass" after losing 60 lbs from my 220 lbs. fatass days. It's amazing the ridiculous stuff we tell ourselves to keep from actually doing any work. Now all of you need to shut the hell up about KK donuts, or I'm gonna fall off this bandwagon like an epileptic meth fiend.
PS- C'mon, laugh at Seriously. He probably called Ms. Della Casa a hobag cause that picture's in his spank-bank and he doesn't know how to interact. Plus, taking a "dignified stance" against trollers is as pointless as arguing with them. Quick, make fun of his internet! cartman is that you? Posted: 3/8/2006by: Max For some reason (maybe it's the fatty article) I picture "seriously" as Eric Cartman. (In fact, I think if Cartman were real he would be a major TPP asshole poster.) Good work on the beat down, everybody.
Milton, Christine, your chubby love fest is not being nice to my hungover stomach. Guidos Posted: 3/8/2006by: Brenda Della Casa Fat. Greasy. Sexy. The End. C'Mon Posted: 3/8/2006by: Milton Do you really need to justify yourself to the Molly, Eugene, Delphi, Seriously's (what the fuck kind of name is that anyway, seriously -enter drum pop)of the world.
As Socrates once said: Fuck 'em!
Lets get back to fat people and Cheez Whiz!!! Seriously Posted: 3/8/2006by: Atlas Got a seriously well deserved beatdown. Not much to add other than I think Brenda is right on. Losers always get pissed when they see people actually doing things to better their lives. Here, I caught it first ;) Posted: 3/8/2006by: Brenda Della Casa Passe Seriously Posted: 3/8/2006by: Brenda Della Casa Wow, you got me. Ho-Bag? How pase.
If you find me awful for THANKING people for helping me after someone asked me about it, then that is YOUR issue. Everyone knows I am writing a book because they are helping me with it, so it's hardly a plug.
Though you might think otherwise, most of us who are happy with ourselves and one another don't really care what others think about their lives. The fact is, you don't know me, so your opinion matters very little. It's called Self-esteem and I hope you get some.
I feel so sorry for people like you, people who spew negativity and bile all over society. Maybe your nastiness and cynicism is why you are so unhappy with your life and feel the need to spit on others.
Maybe you feel the need to trash others because you feel as though you have accomplished very little on your own, whatever it is, I hope you find a way to sew up your self worth. What you put out to the world comes back three-fold and with this kind of attitude, you don't have much to look forward to.
Now, go on and write your vulgar little response. I know this excites you...nasty people love drama and chaos.
This is so great Milton!!! Posted: 3/8/2006by: Christine Hey Dad!!! I'm not gay!!! Look here is my beast of a husband.
I can totally see our wedding day. You'll have to sit in a chair as your legs would surely fail your body weight. I'll walk up the isle and tell the priest immediately to give you a Communion wafer before you get angry. It will be paradise. A cheese whiz filled paradise. Jesus woman!! Posted: 3/8/2006by: Milton make the grilled cheese and use the donuts for the bread! then pour the garlic sauce over that sandwich.
You kinda grossed me out with the former offering. Although it kinda turned me on at the same time. Is that weird? Oh yeah! Dont forget that I like Cheez Whiz licked out of my navel - which should be HUGE by then!!
Hey mom I found my wife!!
And to Mr. Seriously: Acting tough on a comment board is kinda like being in the WNBA or the special Olympics: No matter how much effort you put in...nobody cares. But hey, your the cool one. Not me...
