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The show- Predictable, Robotic
Something smells foul at the Great Northern Mall Chuck E. Cheese, and this time, it’s not the food. But much like the pizza that the chain was founded upon, the dinner theater’s latest stage show is bland, cheesy, and hard to swallow. The latest production, aptly entitled “The Pizza Party Mystery”, fails spectacularly at almost every level, with an astonishingly predictable plot that is only rivaled in it’s impotence by the ineffectual and stilted performances of nearly every member of the cast.
This theatrical debacle begins in the house of the protagonist, Chuck E. Cheese, where we learn that he and his company are about to celebrate Cheese’s birthday with a pizza party. All are in high spirits at the prospect of the impending feast. Tired and hackneyed jokes are exchanged between the party guests to little comedic effect. The characters “Pasqually”, a shamefully stereotypical Italian chef, and “Mr. Munch”, who appeared to be a keyboard-playing monster of some kind, (it’s never really established) act as the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the production, providing numerous tedious knock-knock jokes and lame puns, almost all of which revolve around the subject of pizza.
Soon, we learn that the pizza intended to be shared at the gathering has been pilfered, and we spend the rest of the production trying to ascertain who is to blame. From scene one it’s clear that the staleness of the writing has affected the cast, as they seem to be content to simply go through the motions. Cheese, so good in the theater’s summer production, “Camp Pizza”, attacks his role with the emotional intensity of a block of wood, as he delivers his lines in such a forced and distant manner that you would think he was reading from the script.
The show’s fragile plotting begins to deteriorate almost instantly due in a large part to the characters’ tendency to inexplicably break into simplistic songs, almost none of which are remotely related to the story line and therefor do nothing to advance the plot. Why, for instance, would the chicken character, “Helen Henny”, burst into “How Much is That Doggy in the Window?”, with the others joining her in turn, right in the middle of this missing pizza fiasco? Are we to suppose that the “doggy” symbolically represents the pizza, and the “pizza” is her faith in humanity, which has been lost and must now be reacquired at any cost? The audience is forced to dig for these shrouded meanings in a story that is so muddled and unfocused that it is hardly worth the effort.
The choreographer of “Pizza Party Mystery” who wisely remains uncredited in the program/menu, should be dragged onto Broadway and shot. The characters move in a jerky and labored manner and never really explore the space of the stage. There is only one actor who’s performance was truly beyond reproach, and that is the irrepressible banjo-playing hound dog “Jasper T. Jowls”. He alone brought life to the stage with a presence that is at the same time bombastic and restrained. He walks this fine line especially well during his spirited rendition of “Oh Susanna”, a chill-inducing romp that reminds one just how good musical theater can be when an actor gains command of his muse, if only for a moment.
9 year old- Su Li, watches on
A glaring indication of the show’s ineffectiveness was that much of the audience chose not to return after the brief intermission, and instead showed their disdain by loudly enjoying surrounding attractions such as “skee-ball”, and “Wave Patrol” (an interactive game in which the player simulates fighting crime on a jet-ski). During the interval, the cast members stood eerily still on the darkened stage, (an apparent tip of the hat to famed abstract performance artist Meredith Monk) but the result is ineffective and comes off as more pretentious than esthetic.
The second act, while better than the first, still fails to illuminate any real complexity in the characters’ relationships while the plot plods along at the same sluggish pace. Without giving away too much, the pizza thief is eventually outed and the party returns to full swing.
To give credit where credit is due, kudos to the entire cast for the professionalism displayed throughout the production. The audience was less than amicable, and indeed at times downright disruptive, with the predominantly younger crowd doing everything from screaming at the actors, singing along to the music, and at times, even throwing food (all spectator faux pas where this reviewer comes from). One audience member even vomited violently during “Mr. Munch’s” aria of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”.
Munch showed great focus by finishing the number without batting an eye, while the child’s mother and two members of the wait staff cleaned up the unsightly mess.
In a lone stroke of directorial deftness, the play is interrupted abruptly at one point so that the cast can inform the parents in attendance that Chuck E. Cheese’s is “the perfect birthday party headquarters” and then detail several affordable packages that they might wish to consider in order to make their child’s next birthday more “hassle-free and fun- tastic”. This obvious symbolic denunciation of America’s rampant commercialism is both effective and refreshing and stands as the high point of the production.
So, while “Pizza Party Mystery” has little chance of entering the pantheon of theatrical classics, a few bright spots were achieved in spite of, not because of the writing; and the salad bar was all you can eat.
Great premise. Great writing. Very under-rated article. Clean too. Keep it up.
rock
I like mike
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Posted: 7/13/2005 7:24:49 AM
Keep it coming mike, you rock!
WTF
Need some new stuff
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Posted: 7/13/2005 8:10:17 AM
Dude, you are without a doubt, the best contributor to TPP.
Why the re-runs?
Koko
Great Article
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Posted: 7/13/2005 8:25:13 AM
That was the best article I've ever read on this site.
Danny
Bravo
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Posted: 7/13/2005 8:49:12 AM
I agree. Props!
Mike, Chad, Napalm, Scott, and Jesse keep me coming back. Keep up the orginal ideas. You guys definitely keep this site funny.
BotoxDiaries
Mike Polk rocks!
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Posted: 7/13/2005 9:19:29 AM
I guess it's just because I have munchkins, but Chuck E. Cheese & Wiggles humor cracks me up. Love ya!
Jack
Hilarious
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Posted: 7/13/2005 10:32:39 AM
When I read this I hear it in my head as the voice of Stuey from family guy.
matt
HI-larious
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Posted: 7/13/2005 11:20:51 AM
This was by far one of the funniest articles I have read on this site. I wish I could make a funny comment but sadly anything I have to say that may be considered remotely funny is wrapped up in sardonic negativity. Great article
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