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Sweet Relief
GARFIELD HEIGHTS, OH- The engine trouble of local motorist Tim Logan’s 1993 Chevy Cavalier was rectified this afternoon when the savvy car owner turned up the volume of his cassette tape deck.
The increased volume of the factory-installed system effectively drowned out the repetitive screeching sound that undoubtedly indicates a complicated and expensive issue.
The Afflicted
Logan, who has no formal training in the art of automotive repair, views this as an acceptable, though admittedly temporary fix to a larger problem. “It sounds like it might be a loose belt, or maybe it’s the alternator,” speculated Logan, “Hell, I don’t know. But I do know that I don’t have the fucking money to fix this shit right now.”
Logan says that he plans to address the issue as soon as his finances allow. “Jericha’s (Logan’s sister) boyfriend’s dad has a shop, and even though I think he mostly does body work, I’m sure he could figure this shit out. And he probably won’t charge me out the ass either.
Until then, Logan plans to adhere to his approach of overpowering the unpleasant noise with music. “Hey man, as far as I'm concerned, as long as all I can hear is Soundgarden then we have no problems.”
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