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Seriously, he's a good dude.
Seriously dude, he’s not that bad.
Listen, I know, I know. Just listen to me for a little. It's fine. I know you hate him, that’s fine. Just listen to me for a minute. Dude, seriously. Just listen to me for like two minutes, you have to just listen and I will change your mind. Dude, seriously.
Steve Urkel is not that bad of a guy.
No, okay, okay. Yeah, I hear you talking, I hear you talking, just shut up for a minute. Are you gonna let me talk or not? Okay seriously, just let me talk for a little.
Ok, whatever. What happened at Leroy’s was an accident. A fucking ACCIDENT. Dude, seriously. When there’s a grease fire, people panic. Seriously, not that many people know that when there’s a grease fire, you can't put it out with water. Whatever dude, he was trying to make something special for Laura. He was trying to cook her something nice Seriously, it was a fucking accident. He was really into Laura, and he was trying to do something nice for her. How can you fucking fault him for that?
Dude, you’re just being an asshole about it.
Yea, I know what happened at the party. I know all about it, you don’t have to fucking like, recap it for me. I know Steve got drunk and ended up dangling from a clothes line hundreds of feet above the street. But did you forget what happened before that? Dude, did you see him dancing? That’s all I have to ask you. Did you see his fucking dance? “The Urkel” was like the hottest dance for a minute. And yea, he was drunk. But whose fault was that? Willie and Waldo spiked the punch. That’s pretty obvious and everyone fucking saw that. It wasn’t Steve’s fault, dude. He had no fucking idea. He doesn’t even drink.
How can you hate that face?
You’re the fucking alcoholic.
You get used to the wheezing after awhile, I don’t even notice it anymore. And the laugh too. And the kid likes cheese, whatever, who doesn’t?
Okay, the Johnny Gill concert, okay. Yeah, I remember. But dude, he knew how much Laura liked Johnny Gill. Seriously, can't you see how generous this guy is? So what if he blackmailed Laura into going out with him? He went to Grandma Winslow for advice, that’s something right there. Dude, don’t make me bring up the time you hooked up with that fat chick from Indiana State when she was passed out wasted. Yeah, see? Sometimes you do what you gotta do to hook up. You’re no angel.
Dude, seriously. He's not that bad.
Yea I know that Eddie almost failed chemistry. How is that Steve’s fault? How the fuck is that Steve’s fault? He was helping him cheat! Whatever, Eddie didn’t study and Steve agreed to help him with the answers by a unique coughing code. But whatever, dude, Steve really was sick that day! What, like you’ve never gotten sick? I seem to remember a time when you caught the flu and couldn’t come with us to Ozzfest. And I had to eat the money for that ticket. That shit wasn’t cheap. But this isn’t about me and you, it's about Steve, and he took the fucking blame when they got caught! Dude, if anyone is a cock, its Eddie. Working at the supermarket like some kind of responsible young man. But that high-top fade screams guilt.
Yeah, the robot and the time machine. Just don’t even start. I know, okay? I know.
Seriously dude, the sooner you get over this shit, the better. I didn’t tell you about this before, but I have this girl I am gonna hook you up with. No joke. Her name is Stefan Urquelle, she’s fuckin bangin’, dude, bangin’. So whatever, get over yourself and come out and meet this chick. I swear to God you’re going to love her.
But you're fuckin' nuts, man - he's an annoying little d-bag!
Elliot
Thanks
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Posted: 6/1/2006 9:56:00 AM
Tom-
Thanks
E
Christine
"she's fuckin bangin dude"
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Posted: 6/1/2006 10:16:48 AM
Ha! Good job. this was really funny. I love random shit. Thanks!
Charlie Sheen
Given Recent (and not-so-recent) Events
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Posted: 6/1/2006 10:40:33 AM
I could use a good PR man.
You are on the short list, Mr. L.
Jesse L.
One Minor Quibble
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Posted: 6/1/2006 10:47:19 AM
Great job, Elliott.
But it would have been nice to see a pic of AH-LAAUUURA, the Nubian Queen.
Erkel's affections were anything but misplaced. Laura was bangin'.
Elliot
agreed
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Posted: 6/1/2006 10:59:19 AM
yea laura was. and so was that other sister, the one who got abducted. i wonder what kelly "shanghai" williams, or whatever her name is, is up to these days.
Elliot
agreed
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Posted: 6/1/2006 10:59:45 AM
yea laura was. and so was that other sister, the one who got abducted. i wonder what kelly "shanghai" williams, or whatever her name is, is up to these days.
Elliot
sry
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Posted: 6/1/2006 11:02:18 AM
sry for double post
Reamer
She ended up in Porn
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Posted: 6/1/2006 11:03:39 AM
and I have to think years of the older boy next door fawing over her big sister drove her to it.
Jesse L.
Hell yeah Tom
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Posted: 6/1/2006 11:24:21 AM
Nice find.
Today is officially "find pics of Laura Winslow on Google Image" Day.
Incidentally, who remembers the name of the other hot girl on the show, the one who had the unrequited crush on Urkel? All I can remember about her is that the actress who played her died of, I think bone cancer, in 1998.
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