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Member Since:
12/4/2005
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Burbank, U.S.
Posted: 12/31/2006
As a special treat for everyone who is stuck at work this week, here is one the best pieces from the book, "Look At My Striped Shirt!" In addition to this classic piece from The Phat Phree, there are more than 50 never-before-published essays from some of the funniest writers on the site.
Who are you people? A traveling circus of witty intelligentsia with such insight and depth. I know, you all are the bourgeoisie fighting amongst themselves cuz you ain't got shit better to do at your boring jobs. Guess what, me too fuckers!
Alan Logiudice
Same Shirt
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Post #: 129
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Posted: 3/22/2005
I have the same shirt and can't get laid either!
J Dizzle
Wee Man
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Post #: 130
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Posted: 3/22/2005
In response to Jus' belligerence, my assessment is this. Jus is simply pissed because he got called out, and obviously takes himself way too seriously. Making fun of guys like him is like hitting a slow-pitch softball, its just too easy, but still pretty fun. We have fun laughing at your types Jus. You are probably 5'7", never played high school sports, and lease a German car. And when you say you get laid, it is by a bunch of mediocre women that real men over 6' pass up on. Do you have trouble sleeping at night knowing that you have a huge credit card balance in order to live you life. Plus, FYI, your rhetoric, "Jager Bombs are cool, Striped Shirts are cool" really make you sound like an uneducated asshole. You are pathetic! Piss off you little dorky wee man!
jon doe
Who is Landis?
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Post #: 131
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Posted: 3/22/2005
hey, that sounds like a guy i know...J Landis.....Has anyone heard of him?
calledout
callinyouout
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Post #: 132
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Posted: 3/22/2005
a good, but unoriginal knockoff of a georgetown lampoon article predating yours by a few years. too bad your big hit is semi-plagerized. . .
doodoo
president
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Post #: 133
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Posted: 3/22/2005
who the hell got a copy of my journal
doodoo
albert
In-Closing
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Post #: 134
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Posted: 3/22/2005
dude, UR story is funny, but learn how to close the fuckin deal. i see limp dicks like u all the time, so predictable. In-fact you make it easier for a guy like me to get laid. After you strike out, I mosey on in and we have a great time making fun of d-bags like URSELF.
Albert
Nate (Nate-Dogg)
Sad story for Mike
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Post #: 135
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Posted: 3/22/2005
Oh, Mike Polk was just upset because it happened to be his girl that I was dry humping out on the dance floor. It's just a shame that she was terrible in the bed.
Better luck next time in trusting your girl. Until next time, I'll do it again.
MAB
The Catch Phrase...
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Post #: 136
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Posted: 3/22/2005
Let's not forget the signature asshole war-cry: "TEAR IT UP!!"
Cooter
It got it all wrong man....
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Post #: 137
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Posted: 3/22/2005
First off, the shirt should not be tucked in. That's just flat out stupid looking.
Second, NO WHITE undershrt showing. If your name isn't Dave F., then leave the under shirt at home.
Finally, don't wear khakis with a stripped shirt. What are you posing for, American Eagle or The GAP? I hope not!!!
Joe (aka COOTER) Why, because that's what i like to eat :P
Francie
That is my Husband
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Post #: 138
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Posted: 3/22/2005
That sounds like my husband John Cordry, and all you guys are stupid. I think it is great he is not hooking up at night with any one but me. He is soooo sweet!
WTF
Idiots
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Post #: 139
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Posted: 3/22/2005
IDIOTS!
I think some of you guys failed to realize that this whole entry/article was just a parody.
BOB COMERFORD
FLUFFER
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Post #: 140
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Posted: 3/22/2005
I LOVE TO WEAR MY STRIPED SHIRT WHEN I AM FLUFFING........HHHHEEEEEYYYYYY
heywood
Brad Thompson - imbred loser
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Post #: 141
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Posted: 3/22/2005
Brad Thompson you are a loser. KC? Are you that ghetto or do you live in the south where there is no style and a full mouth of teeth is rare? Ever heard of Gucci or are you not there yet you chump. Your sparkling teeth must consist of the only 4 teeth you have. Who are you going to impress with your green corporate amex card, you dope!
heywood
Richard Thornmeiger - dope
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Post #: 142
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Posted: 3/22/2005
Nobody is jealous of you. What is it that you have earned? a business card that says junior broker? Paychecks short a few 0s? Your credit card debt? What is your position in life? a nobody that’s what it is. You have no success... you are pretender.... same guy that has the nice car who puts $10 in the tank... chump..
SPIDAH
professional pussy
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Post #: 143
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Posted: 3/22/2005
STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE SOX CUBS TICKETS.......YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH
Kate
UM...That is the Chicago Lincoln Park Population
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Post #: 144
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Posted: 3/22/2005
Um...right on! Walking down Lincoln Avenue you are guarenteed to run into at least 100 of these striped shirts, BMW, Volkswagon, Sunglass at night wearing assholes!
dont matter
striped shirts are gay
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Post #: 145
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Posted: 3/22/2005
i mean how pathetic it is in San Francisco when you see packs of 4-6 dudes at 9 pm marching to the bars......all in striped shirts, sleeves down, un tucked and jeans made by who knows.....
it's fucking pathetic. it looks like a uniform for the insecure and followers.
i mean if you know how to dress, you'd dress different to stand out? that is how you get laid, you attract attention to yourself.
defending this "time has come" fashion is ridicuous.
all the guys who got laid due to those shirts are wearing something else now you stupid fucks.
i love it when a striped shirt gang is out of bounds....in a bar outside their social set.....they look even worse.
BOB-RN
T-BAGGER
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Post #: 146
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Posted: 3/22/2005
NOTHING LIKE A SWEATY T-BAG IN YOUR MOUTH..........THEN PULLING SIXS AND NINES FROM YOUR TEETH
SPANKIE
HI
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Post #: 147
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Posted: 3/22/2005
MAN! I LOVE IT! MY PENIS IS HARD!
RICHIE RADU
balloon knot
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Post #: 148
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Posted: 3/22/2005
I always where my striped shirt when I'm diddling balloon knots in the steam room. If you're not wearing a striped shirt on your way to the Flemish Banana you might as well shit your pants and call it a day. SEX BOMBS FOREVAH!!!!!!!!!!
rich radulski
schnitzel
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Post #: 149
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Posted: 3/22/2005
after a long day of staining my shorts, i throw on my favorite old striped shirt and make a nice crusted lamb
Elite
humph
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Post #: 150
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Posted: 3/22/2005
I bet you people don't even belong to a Country Club.
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