Posts: 3 Rank: 241
Member Since:
8/15/2006
Location:
Huntington Beach, CA
Posted: 8/16/2007
This guy would have been SICK at Oar Toss!
8:47 AM
'Do you guy's want to do the 6 mile trip or the 10 mile trip?' Was he serious? He might as well have been asking us, 'Hey Nancies! Have your nuts dropped yet?' Having done this trip the previous summer with my brother but having not remembered which voyage we actually embarked on, we confidently told Old Man River behind the counter that we wanted the 10 mile trip. We were of course SURE that we had done the 10 mile trip the previous year. No self-respecting man does the shorter ...
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Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/16/2007 8:12:12 AM
Before i read this i saw the author was Bassam, first thought: a guy named Bassam probably hangs out with guys named Emirhan.
Subsequent to reading this, i thought: I maybe related to this freak.
Seriously this story was great, i hope it's a true story. It reminds me of canoeing down the Shannandoa River in VA. The trip is about 4 miles but with all the fucking around that I do along the way it takes about 5 hours, I'm not sure how that works either. Actually i have done that trip in about 2 hours it was with a girlfriend and another couple, it was the least fun i ever had on a canoe. Chicks take the fun out of everything, except violent, degrating, violent sex acts. *I know i said violent twice*
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:38:45 AM
I like that someone took the time to put togehter a cohesive narrative on this site. I think it should be pointed out that your biggest mistake on this trip was that you weren't drinking.
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:06:43 AM
Balls i don't know how i missed that, but if i had the power of spartan* you would get 23(+)s from me for that but alas i only have 1 to give you but you earned it my friend.
Posts: 17 Rank: 1980 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Cracklanta, GA
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:54:58 AM
Reminds me of the time we went rafting, got drunk, the cops ticketed a few of us for littering after our empty-beer-can fight, feelings were hurt, punches were thrown, other drunken inbreds tried to start fights with us.
and guess what, I've been on a few rafting trips myself, but since I'm not gonna write a funny descriptive story like this guy, I'll shut the fuck up about and say, I found this funny because I could relate to being a jackass on the river wth my friends. (take note ladies, nobody wants to hear, "this one time I went rafting..." unless you have an exceptionally funny story.
Igick, Bassam has been money with pretty much everything he's thrown out there, I'm guessing that you probably just don't look at the author much.
Anybody in the PA area check out the Youghiogheny River. Awesome rapids, class IV and V the right time of year, and serious waterfalls to go over.
Posts: 134 Rank: 14 Joined:
5/11/2007
Location:
St. Louis, MO
Posted: 8/16/2007 11:31:25 AM
This was kind of sad. I apologize in advance for sounding like a self-righteous dildo, but I live a few miles from a nice river and have been floating since I was a kid and more times than I can count.
1. As previously mentioned, where the fuck was the beer? 2. The Housatonic River is a great fishing destination. I'd understand if you didn't want to get a Mack boat and match the hatch, but you could have at least got a line wet. 3. It seems like it was a low gradient stream and it wasn't in flood stage or high release levels from the dam, so why the fuck a pontoon/raft instead of a canoe? I guess the guide had you guys marked as "short bus specials" and played it safe. I've done 9 miles in 3 hours in a canoe while my wife sat up front taking it easy. And I got some fishing in.
Posts: 214 Rank: 16 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Pasadena, CA
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:03:58 PM
but I was moving to LA.
The lst time I remember going out on a river was a tubing trip in high school. I separated from the pack with a friend's sister and she gave me a handjob underwater.
Asmar brought a story that had something special about it.
Getting even a handy (patheric) from a friends sister is always special. That moment when you meet back up with the group and say what up to your buddy is funny, what's better is a week or so later when you're all hammered up and you drop the bomb.
Posts: 291 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/16/2007 1:00:21 PM
My dad used to race canoes in various races across Michigan. He likes to regale us with his stories of halucinating at 4 a.m. on the Bear River midnight races, and how he'd overtake weaker paddlers while insulting them in Polish and Italian slurs about their canoing skills. Ever since I was a wee tot, we'd be out canoeing various rivers, and he'd give me sage advice like not to "counter drag the keel during a J-stroke", so I feel your pain, I really do.
I got a lot of shit from my friends for not being able to do anything because I "was going canoeing with my dad...again". They called me a pussy and daddy's little girl because I went canoeing with him a shit-ton. Needless to say they haven't laughed since I knocked out their teeth with a beaver tail paddle.
Posts: 291 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/16/2007 1:08:26 PM
Thanks in advance AB, for the impending destruction of several MSU girl's hopes, dreams and aspirations. While it would usually take large quantities of alcohol or benevolent use of wit and cunning to put our Neitzels in their Breslin Centers, you'll soften them up to the true realities of life, and turn them into hollow shells of their former selves, using daddy's money to buy useless shit at Hollister and J Crew, Kamikaze shots and mascara, so at the end of the night the full circle of their lives comes to a close with a penis in their mouths. Thanks again, and I'm sure you'll have a great time at MSU.
While you'll be drinking and having sex with bleached haired nubiles, I'll be unpacking my shit into my new house. But hey, I live here, so whatever.
I'm not submitting these posts to the court or getting them published, so I could give a fuck less is there's a typo. IN short go do some "squats" onto your big black dildo, and really, try to be more obvious about your insecurities in the future.
Posts: 453 Rank: 28 Joined:
4/23/2007
Location:
Jackson, MI
Posted: 8/16/2007 2:25:39 PM
is like masturbation; sure it's fun, but nowhere near as good as the real thing. If you are not drinking and endagering your fucking life in a river, then you might as well be in a pool, you pussy!
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 8/16/2007 2:32:52 PM
I thik AB is not giving you enough credit here (shocking I know): considering you were in high school, out in public (and in nature) and were friends with her brother I think you did the best you could there considering the discretion that was necessary for the mission to be successful. Obviously, you want to hit the home run there and go out for the curtain call (curtain call = money shot), but sometimes you just need to advance the runner. Ok, I'll end this analogy now.
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/16/2007 2:38:48 PM
Talking about lifting makes me insecure? 5 other guys talked about it too and it was referencing how we've all fucked our backs up doing various things. The only thing that makes me insecure is your talk of a big black dildo under my ass. I don't really know why i'm explaining myself to a little bitch.
in other news Mako returns with a headache inducing comment, yippie
*cuts arm to relieve the pain of reading said post*
Posts: 134 Rank: 14 Joined:
5/11/2007
Location:
St. Louis, MO
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:16:28 PM
As much as I would like to take credit for getting a handy from a friend's sister in the water, I can't. It was Asmar. I'm the one that fucks chicks in the water with everyone around.
