Posts: 38 Rank: 83
Member Since:
4/8/2007
Location:
Houston, TX
Posted: 5/30/2007
My nipples feel dirty
Bolstered by the wild success of the series: Criss Angel Mindfreak, Criss's younger, more annoying younger brother Timm has assembled a DVD featuring numerous "acts," from his one (and only) performance at an unspecified auditorium on the outskirts of Trenton, New Jersey in March of 2007. The following is a sneak peek at this remarkable, once in a liftemine performance that has The New York Times raving, "Who in the shit is Timm Angel, and how'd you get past security?"
T. Owen, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it.
great writing as always, but the subject matter just didn't play that well. It was kind of amusing, but I think my personal hatred for criss angel and clean freaks combined to build a burning rage in me that made me immune to somewhat comical here.
Don't listen to any of these d-bags that say you're putting too much out. If you write 9 articles a week and 7 of them are good, that's a pretty strong record. PS. your mother says hi... and it wouldn't kill you bring some flowers or something when you come over for sunday dinner.
Posts: 2036 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 5/30/2007 11:55:58 AM
Maybe it's because I have a very basic sense of humor, but I loved this article. I am a huge sucker for random humor, and this was definately random. The part about the audience watching a cardboard cut out for four hour cracked me up.
Posts: 177 Rank: 50 Joined:
4/8/2007
Location:
Chicago, IL
Posted: 5/30/2007 2:52:11 PM
dc was going down on me this one time and I busted all over his grill, and the spooge made this sorta ovular shape, but imperfect. Something came over me, and I just had to make it a perfect oval. Took dc another four hours and six more nuts to get it right. Then we stole a cow.
Posts: 452 Rank: 28 Joined:
4/23/2007
Location:
Jackson, MI
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:32:14 PM
My father's cousin had ocd and a germ-o-phobe. The funiest info about him that I was told is that he could not wear condoms because something about the latex would make him have to vigorously wash it under cold water and place in ice to keep germs off. This would never work, because a cold condom would cause with wood to go away.
Posts: 831 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Seattle, WA
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:09:30 PM
we have a crazy old lady that comes to the ER every day. She doesn't check in, she just stands in the doorway and wont leave until someone says, "Bye Mary." She will do this at least 12 times a day. She just wanders around the street and comes to the door over and fucking over.
I'm contemplating paying a hobo $5 and a corndog to kill her with a cinder block.
Posts: 55 Rank: 51 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
newport coast, CA
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:31:53 PM
"She doesn't check in, she just stands in the doorway and wont leave until someone says, "Bye Mary." She will do this at least 12 times a day. She just wanders around the street and comes to the door over and fucking over."
Posts: 10 Rank: 178 Joined:
5/30/2007
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:50:44 PM
Fairly funny piece, but I've come to expect better from you, Smith. I may be biased, though, because I think Timm Angel was actually my roommate sophomore year in college, and NOTHING that OCD motherfucker did could ever be described as being remotely funny.
