Before anyone gets their rectum puckered, nobody around here hates homosexuals. We love gay people- well not love, but we dont dislike them any more than we dislike everyone else.
Frankly, I dont understand why anyone gives a shit. Nothing interests me less than what it takes for some other dude to ejaculate. Shit, I can hardly muster up enough of a fuck to care what my wife likes in the sack. And weve all been on the internet. There are people who are into far weirder shit than bumping into someone with similar uglies. Im still trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with those sick bastards who like to watch Asian women throw up.
Besides, homosexuality is not at all what this list is about. Whether you smoke pole or munch rug, we all know that some things are just plain gay. If there were a better word, wed use it. We are writers after all.
So if you are going to get offended by us saying that sliding boards are gay, then youre an asshole. But feel free to click on an ad on your way out, fag.
Oh boy, Im in trouble now.
But wait, there's more. We decided to do a companion Top 50 List this month. That's right, double the fun. So in addition to the 50 Gayest Things we've got the 50 Things That Make You Most Feel Like a Man. Enjoy.
Expensive Clothes
Shirts and Skins
Bunk Beds
Being Color Blind
Disney World
Thinking About Surviving a Natural Disaster
Drinking Hot Tea
Explosions
Ironing
Carving the Turkey
Non-Halogen Lamps
Knowing How to Tie More Than Three Knots, But Not Bragging About It
Thinking Babies Are Cute
Having YOUR Chair
Personalized License Plates
Knowing the Infield Fly Rule
Being a Girl's "Best Guy Friend"
Wearing A Hard Hat
Minor Chords
Taking the Points
Discount Cards at the Grocery Store
The Smell of a Locker Room
White Zinfandel
Eating an Entire Pizza
Board Game Night
Math Without a Calculator
Holding Hands
Dunking A Basketball
Getting Promoted at Work
Not Understanding Sports That Are Judged On Style
Mens Tennis
Punching A Wall
Wearing a Scarf
Athlete's Foot
The Priesthood
Calling Your Friend a Dumb Fuck as a Term of Endearment
Crest Whitestrips
Destroying Nature
Putting a Box of Baking Soda in the Refrigerator
Pullups
Attempted Murder
Hugging With One Arm
Different Shades of White (Eggshell, Ivory, Porcelain)
Sticking Out Your Chest in the Mirror When You Get Out of the Shower
Birthday Cards, Especially When Theyre On Time
Drinking Bourbon
Eye Contact
Keeping Emotions Suppressed
Using a Lint Roller
Low Fives
Vacuuming
Killing an Animal
Spoken Word Poetry
Speaking into a Bullhorn or Walkie-Talkie
Phone Calls to Catch Up
Going To The Barber Shop
Men's Pajamas
OWNING the Remote
Smiling
Smelling Your Own Farts
Disposable Cameras
Spitting Out Blood
Lip Balm
Watching a Chuck Norris Movie
Memories
Getting A Blowjob
Picture Frames With Words on Them
Catching a Foul Ball Without a Glove
Europe
Building Things
Protein Powder
Packing No Toiletries
Conditioner
Sailing the High Seas
Stretching Before a Workout
Walking It Off
Any Bottle of Wine That Costs More Than $10
Going up on the Roof
Pet Ferrets
Pissing Out a Fire
Kayaks
Driving Drunk to Work
Laying Out
Laughing at the WNBA
Waving
Crashing A Car
Safe Sex
Hitting ONLY Driver at the Range
Fabric Softener
Going Bald
Potted Plants
Jerking Off to a Photo of a Girl You Banged In High School
Magicians
Controlling Fire
Handjobs
Jumping Up To Touch an Awning
White Jeans
Hurting Someone By Accident
Loving Your Dad
Lifting Something Heavy
You know the drill- let's hear 'em.
List compiled by Mike Polk, Charlie DeMarco, Scott Hofman, Jesse Lamovsky, Steve Kiley, Matt McCoy, Mike Hagges, Mike Martone, Jim Fath, and Patrick O'Connor. Intro by Charlie DeMarco
Yams. gay/manly Posted: 8/18/2006by: markster gay - writers that wrestle, men that tuck their jeans into their boots, aviator spectacles.
gay looking - the english
manly - the english at war
gay - the americans at war (they don't win unless the gay-looking English turn up and bail them out)
very gay - american men that get shirty and write sniffy replies to this posting. whilst thinking they're manly. to aeggsngrits Posted: 8/2/2006by: NOYFB SMITH All schnapps are gay, cunt. Hater Posted: 7/31/2006by: Roper GAY: motorcycle helmets, mandatory sensitivity training, Vitamin Water, text messaging, vegans, spelling bees, guys who like their jobs (unless they're a porn star or a pro athlete)
MANLY: scars, facial tatoos, using the word cunt, shitting outside, not breaking up with a chick and just not calling her instead, hitting on your waitress, spitting MANLY/GAY Posted: 7/20/2006by: moose Manly: Kicking the shit of a proud to-be-uneducated redneck with a Bush sticker on his pickup truck.
Gay: Sucking that redneck's dick.
Gay Posted: 7/12/2006by: Dee GAY: using the word, "freakin'" (see above) manly/gay Posted: 6/27/2006by: Pete Manly: Chewing tobacco, eating beef jerky, growing a fu manchu, buying a jockstrap, taking a HUGE shit, finding new hair somewhere on your body, measuring your dick,
Gay: "Designer" stubble, body hair removal, feng shui, suicide pacts, clean clothing, Pretty gay mang Posted: 6/26/2006by: Matt Manly: Riding around in your truck with your dog in the back, owning deadly pets, ordering a beer and a burger at a fancy restaurant, not going to fancy restaurants
Gay: smooth skin, popping your collar, having friends that are girls, fruity-tasting alcohol F-U Posted: 6/21/2006by: F-U Gay - using a towel or your shirt to open a twist-off beer bottle.
Manly - not using a towel or your shirt to open a twist-beer bottle.
