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The Anchorman
This variation of the "comb-over" is as ugly as it is dishonest. How can you trust a man who can't even tell the truth about being bald? | The Treasure Hunt
There are only two creatures on this planet that are attracted to shiney objects: racoons and morons. | The Nashty
It looks terrible here, but only gets worse as the sweat soaks in on the basketball court. | The Moe Howard
The ultimate bowl-cut, Moe Howard sported this 'do for comic effect, but that doesn't stop others, particularly heartless parents, from requesting it for their kids. | The Original Pimp
Known around the world as the first American pimp, Thomas Jefferson is credited with popularizing this style for his modern day counterparts. |
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The Mushroom
AKA The Dickhead, this once-popular style has gone out of favor in recent years, but it'll be back. | The Captain
Loved by bums across the globe, The Captain is often accompanied by stool and dirt matted deeply into the hair. | The Don King
It's often hard to manage your hair when you are stomping people to death on the streets of Cleveland. | The Jew-Fro
Commonly known as the Horshack, or the Kaplin, this popular 70's style, along with its cousin the Afro, nearly made pillows obsolete. | The Driving Rain
The "wet look" is always a questionable choice, but all the more so if you're Latino. |
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The Dangerzone
Kenny Loggins has made some terrible mistakes at the stylist over the years. And he must have a really weak chin for that beard to be a better alternative. | The Gangsta Pimp
I really don't get why it is cooler to be a pimp than a rapper... "I'm so fucking hard I can wear a woman's hairdo." | The Dee Aguilera
Dee Snyder popularized the hidious man-whore look nearly two decades ago, and Christina Aguilera brought it back. | The Super Idiot
Only an inbread hillbilly would try to grow a cape. | The Wham!
"Wake me up before you ejaculate on me" |
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The Van Winkle II
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? The asshole formerly known as Vanilla Ice makes his first appearance on the list here. | The Max Headroom
"My hair-cut-cut-cut is riduculous. And these s-s-s-sunglass are worse worse." | The Drain Clog
When you need a backhoe to comb your hair, it is time to cut the shit off. Seriously. | The Sharpton
This black version of the Pompador is just terrible. The sad thing is Al probably thinks he looks good. | The Oh Yeah!
Professional wrestlers have never been known for having good taste, but the Hulkster's blonde Skullet is the worst. |
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The Box
An odd look for men, The Box is much worse on women. Grace Jones toed the line. | The Broom
It may take hours to create, but later, when you are standing in the corner at the terrible rock show ignoring everyone, it will be SO worth it. | The Mein Kampf
Although the little mustache gets all the attention, Hitler's early cut was just as terrible and creepy. | The Wright Stuff
"I went to the barber shop and asked him to take a little off the top." | 8 is 1 Too Many
Jesus Christ, as if putting your kids on TV isn't bad enough. Adam Rich's parents should be in jail. |
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Black Hawk Down
This girl LOVES Inspector Gadget 2. | The Comic Relief
I think Billy's hairline is just trying to get as far from his terrible jokes as possible. | Sounds of Silence
Worn by Art Garfunkel, Cosmo Kramer and Russian Dignataries, this style says, "I'm the sidekick" better than any other. | The Samoan Q-Tip
WARNING: If used to clean ears, stroke swab gently around the outer surface of the ear without entering the ear canal. | The No Means YES!
Marv's wigs are some of the most terrible ever seen on television. But, I wouldn't say that to his face for fear of being bitten. |
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| The Pretty Tough These two "tough guys" hang their heads out of car windows like dogs to get their hair just right. | The Van Winkle I
Some one put a racing stripe on a retard. "Word to your mutha!" | The Avalanche
Don Sutton is one of only three people ever to wear the curley, white perm mullet-style. God, that is fucking awful. | The Nino Brown
Also known as The Put-Put Green, this variation of The Box only enjoyed a short period of popularity following the release of New Jack City. Thank God. | The Sideshow Bob
You really have to be a special kind of stupid to want to look like an evil cartoon clown. |
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The Milli Vanilli
Woven from only the finest in throughbred horse hair, I hear that Milli's hair actually came from Secretariat. | Sensitive Ponytail
You are a thoughtful and considerate lover... and an asshole. | The Traficant
Former Ohio Congressman James Traficant was convicted of bribery in 2002 while sporting a fucking criminally bad hairpiece. Once again dishonesty from a guy with a wig... Who'd have thunk? | The Double Fault
Agassi popularized this variation of the mullet with its frosted tips and ever-receeding hairline in the early 90's. | The 3-Team Parlay
Good 'ole Pete Rose took a gamble on this style and lost. Badly. |
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The Clown Skullet
"Anyone what to take a sledgehammer and smash my head?" Yes. | The Night Court
Markie Post brought this hidious feathered she-mullet into our homes from 1987 to 1992. | Pride of Jersey
I'd bet my right hand that this family has seen every Bon Jovi concert ever performed in the Tri-State area. | The Eternal Flame
(Editor: All Michael Jackson jokes have already been performed repeatedly by Jay Leno.) | Flock of Seagulls
When you're embarrassed by your bald head, you comb your hair over it. Appearenly, it also works for your hidious face. |
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Spaghetti Western
Who would have thought it was possible to further disgrace Italian heritage? | Career Terminator
Look, it's the kid from T2 all grown up. Seriously, though... We get it Rosey. You're gay. | The Final Solution
Purdue's Gene Keady makes HItler's last hairstyle look even worse... As incredible as that may sound, the proof is in the photo. | The O'Shea
Also known as The Shag and The Gheri Curllet, this travesty was made worse by Cube forgetting his activator on picture day. | The Donald
The king of the comb-over, Donald Trump's orange hair flap is without a doubt the worst hairstyle of all-time. And he is a jackass. |
