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David Chase Last week, the surly creator of The Sopranos extinguished the fumes of his once great mobster series with ten-seconds of silence over a black screen. It was an appropriate ending to a show that had run out of interesting ideas almost three years ago.
The first season was exceptional. The show really seemed to have the potential to be a great entry in the mob genre, right up there with The Godfather I & II. I think it was that potential that people were really addicted to because in truth, the meandering, unsatisfying plot development was a source of frustration and disappointment for fans since the second season.
If Chase hadn't been so good at the television equivalent of a bait and switch, people would have tuned out long ago. That is the real genius, if you can call it that, of David Chase and The Sopranos. The show always made you feel like the shit was juuuust about to hit the fan. Whether it was the pending war with New York, someone getting flipped by the FBI, Tony getting shot, the Russian getting away, et al., Chase was always promising excitement. But instead of paying off, every season seemed to end with the fucking characters sitting around stuffing their fat faces.
In most interviews with Chase, he is openly hostile toward the television audience, and I'm sure he's positively giddy reading the negative reactions to the finale as he sips wine in his French summer home. He hates the fact that people tune into their televisions to be entertained rather than enlightened by his amazing insights into the human condition.
I agree that the simple morality plays that make up most television shows are unimaginative and boring, but if the alternative is taking nearly 100 hours to say that life doesn't always wrap up neatly and good things sometimes happen to bad people, I'll take good guy gets the girl in 44 minutes. I've got other shit to do.
David Stern and the NBA Playoffs In another wholly unsatisfying ending to something that has gone on far too long, the 2007 NBA Finals will hopefully, mercifully wrap up tonight in Cleveland. As a long-suffering Cleveland sports fan, I was as excited as anyone to see LeBron and the Cavs in the Finals, but at this point, even I am just hoping to be put out of my misery.
You already know my stance on David Stern, but the state of the game is just another example of his inability to properly manage the league. Maybe the record-low ratings will finally convince Stern and the owners that it's time seriously look at retooling the league. The game being played is just not very good. These playoffs have been incredibly boring with the only exceptions being the G State Dallas series which was fluke in the first round, and the Suns Spurs series that was ruined by Stern.
Last off-season, Stern addressed three things--one of which was another dumb ego thing (players complaining to officials), a half-assed solution to a much bigger problem (home court advantage in the playoffs based on record instead of seeding), and complete non-issue (the new ball). The fact that the best team of this decade plays a kind of basketball that no one on Earth wants to watch seemed to be just fine with Stern. Of course San Antonio fans are happy their team wins, but you can't tell me they wouldn't be happier if the Spurs were also exciting to watch.
Stern and the owners have to take action this off-season to improve the actual game before it's too late. I love basketball and my team is in the Finals, but even I can't stand watching the games.
So going into the off-season, here's my wish list for NBA:
Lose the Zone Defense This was a bad idea when it was implemented and it's a bad idea now. You want to help offenses and get rid of the 79-75 games? Go back to man-to-man defense. I know this rule change was created in part to address the boring isolation post plays that were plaguing the league at the time, but what has happened is worse. Of course no one wants to watch eight guys stand on one side of the court while two guys play one-on-one, but I'd rather see that than watch no one score for three-minute stretches.
Three-seconds in the post This would be a little like the five-second rule in college, but would only apply to post players with the ball. This would prevent the situation that caused the zone defense to be allowed. If you are posting up with the ball, you have three seconds to shoot or pass. It wouldn't be difficult to enforce because you don't have to worry about tracking players away from the ball, and it would encourage more cutting, passing, and perimeter play--you know, the fun stuff.
No flopping Everyone hates flopping (except soccer fans), and by my interpretation of the NBA rules, we shouldn't need a new rule to prohibit flopping. Flopping should fall under the unsportsmanlike conduct rule punishable by a technical foul. Two flops and you're gone. If the NBA wants to create a rule, fine. But this flopping shit has to stop.
Drawing a charge should be damn near impossible The rule that should change here is the charging rule. You want to reduce flopping and increase offense? Make charges almost impossible to draw. Unless an offensive player really runs over someone, it should be a blocking foul. We want to see guys score. If a player blows by his defender, the last hope of the defense should be a blocked shot, not running in front of him trying to draw a charge.
No more offensive fouls I don't mean offensive players can do whatever they want. I just mean it shouldn't be counted as a foul. It's already not counted toward team fouls. Just go the rest of the way, and treat it like a turnover. The last thing we need is rules that punish players for being aggressive on offense when the scoring is so low.
Leaving the bench is fine, just don't get involved Unfortunately, this rule isn't going to change. The owners have already made that clear. But the rule is overly strict to the detriment of the fans. I'm fine with suspending guys for fighting or for coming on to the floor to fight, but a guy who jumps up instinctively but doesn't get involved shouldn't get suspended.
Fix the playoffs There have been lots of suggestions about how to fix the playoffs, and while it's unlikely that the league will take any drastic action, something needs to be done. Bill Simmons suggested a tourney for the 13-16 spots. I love the idea of tourney and have always said the NBA should find a way to incorporate it, but Simmons's idea doesn't go far enough.
Here's what I suggest.
Realign the league so there are two divisions in each conference instead of three. Then for the playoffs, the four division winners and the next best record in each conference get automatic bids to the playoffs. The other twenty-four teams are seeded by record and play an NCAA style tourney for the remaining six playoff spots. The automatics get a week off so there would be a huge advantage to landing one of those spots, and every team makes the playoffs every year.
Not only would this address the tanking issue, it would be the most exciting week of basketball every year--better than the NCAA tourney. Instead of maybe two game sevens each year, you'd get at least 18. The first two rounds would be single elimination, but when you get down the six that will make the playoffs, it becomes a double elimination for seeding. The winner of the tourney plays the automatic with the worst record, and so on.
It'll never happen of course, but we can all dream.
Posts: 16 Rank: 194 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Reading, PA
Posted: 6/14/2007 12:43:23 PM
Get rid of Stu Scott and that lazy eye of his. That joker has a much street cred as my big toe. "Holla, Can I get a what what?, straight sick" Fucking hack.
And as a Sixer fan...Billy Kings gotta go too. I dont care who he's got naked pictures of.
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:15:46 PM
Another item - Stern needs to do all news conferences and appearances via floating, holigraphic head (wizard of Oz style). He comes off as the most pompous of asses.
Posts: 214 Rank: 16 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Pasadena, CA
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:23:39 PM
Not that I have watched a game since Iverson left, but if you are going to do away with charging then allow more contact by the defenders. these are big guys-they can take it. Every time I see a player "drive the lane" trying to "draw a foul" I am reminded of the assholes who I played with in high school who would never pass and call a foul if they missed. Sparto-the unnecessary quotes are for you.
Has the perfect solution (-) the football. How anybody can watch the NBA finals and not want to throw an elbow at the first moving thing that enters your lane is beyond me. Who wants to watch a bunch of giant crybabies whine to the refs about "bad calls"
This spring has been the worst for sports in long time. First the Anheim Fhucks win Lord Stanley (the best trophy in sports), and now we have the San Antonio running through the finals while everyone else is catching up on some sleep.
At least in hockey theres a chance a fight will break out.
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David Stern and the NBA Playoffs
