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Trouble Brewing
Wow, it’s a good thing you were here, sir. When that guy pulled out his gun and demanded everything in the cash register, I was afraid he’d do something desperate, like take the money and leave. Lucky thing he didn’t see you in the aisle, so you could surprise him with your own gun. He barely had time to shoot me before he grabbed the bag and ran out! I was afraid he was going to hit you until you ducked down behind the Little Debbie display. Don’t worry about the window you shot out, I’m sure that can be replaced. The last thing I want is for you to feel bad about how the situation turned out. Bless you, citizen.
Is all that blood on the floor mine? Man, Pedro’s going to shit a brick when he has to mop that up.
No, I’m afraid I didn’t get a very good look at him. I was too busy following his instructions and not making any sudden moves. Of course, not making any sudden moves was one of his instructions, so I guess I’m repeating myself. Sorry, I’m feeling a little light-headed. Speaking of following instructions, it’s a good thing you didn’t. I told my boss that posting the sign about no concealed weapons being allowed in the store was a bad idea. First of all, it just alienates potential customers who care about their Second Amendment rights. And second, it means that the only people in the store who have guns are the kind of people who ignore posted notices. Those types are just bad news. Present company excluded, of course.
You know, I don’t think we’ll be able to sell any of these scratch-off lottery tickets now that they’ve got my viscera all over them. I should buy one, to see if my luck holds.
It’s really fortunate that you were here. I mean, I could have gone through that whole situation without getting any cool scars to show people, or having an interesting story to tell the police. It’s great for you, too, since instead of a simple armed robbery, you’re now a witness to an attempted homicide.
Heh-heh. “Attempted”. Listen to me go on…
Is that the ambulance coming? No? That’s odd, I could have sworn I heard a siren. Actually, it’s more like a ringing in my ears. No, it only hurts when my heart beats.
Listen, I can tell you’re a public-spirited guy, what with carrying a gun around in case you need to use it to dish out some frontier justice and all, so I’d like you to do me a favor.
*cough *
I want you…I want you to tell Pedro that the diamonds…are buried…buried under a big “H”.
Maybe if the fictional sign read "NRA" the fictional felon would not have stepped in the store in the first place.
J
Idiot
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Post #: 4
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Posted: 8/23/2005 9:27:28 AM
Bleeding heart liberal pussy.
John
Oh Sure
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Post #: 5
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Posted: 8/23/2005 9:57:13 AM
Yep, I bet that little scenario is happens much more often than the scenario wherein some drugged up psycho decides to shoot a store clerk because, well, he is a drugged up psycho.
But if you want to believe what you are being sold then I would like to be the first to welcome you to a long life of sheltered living.
that was horrible
that was horrible
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Post #: 6
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Posted: 8/23/2005 10:00:05 AM
that was horrible
albanian guy
Puss
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Post #: 7
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Posted: 8/23/2005 10:07:08 AM
Hey puss, nice pussy article you pussfaced pussy.
Heh Heh
Good
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Post #: 8
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Posted: 8/23/2005 10:19:26 AM
An article with a political stance. The best comedy is subversive.
Patrick
Heh Heh
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Post #: 9
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Posted: 8/23/2005 10:21:09 AM
There's nothing particulalry subversive about being a blood-belching vagina.
deuce
to "heh heh"
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Post #: 10
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Posted: 8/23/2005 10:22:53 AM
you thought this was subversive??
"paging Dr. Clue, you are needed on the comment board, stat"
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