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The skeleton gave the pumpkin Down Syndrome... (and possible herpes).
You want to get laid this Halloween don't you? Well, unless you want to end up alone, drunkenly trying to masturbate at the end of the night then don't wear these costumes.
Abortion Clinic Doctor How To Make It To generate this ghastly guise you need a few props. Start this one off like you would a regular doctor costume: white lab coat or scrubs, stethoscope, clipboard… the usual. But you're not just an ordinary doctor; you're an abortion clinic doctor! Stock up on fake blood and go to town. Put it on your hands, on your scrubs, even put some around your mouth if you're so inclined. But you're not done yet, you're missing the most crucial part: the aborted fetus. Sculpt the fetus out of play-dough (or cookie dough if you want to eat it)…and douse it in (edible) fake blood. Just pour it on there. Or if you want, have your date go as the aborted fetus. On second thought, if you are dressing as an abortion clinic doctor you probably don't have a date.
Why You Don't Want To Wear It This costume shouts "I'm insensitive asshole, please stab me in the nads," and it shouts loudly. Wearing this will prevent you from achieving the two main objectives of Halloween. Those objectives, of course, are looking at all of the beautiful Sexy Schoolgirls and Sexy Bunnies and trying to "go somewhere to talk alone" with a Sexy Schoolgirl or Sexy Bunny.
Terminal Illness How To Make It Here's a simple costume if you're short on time. You only need a few toy guns or maybe a fake knife. The only other thing you need is a plain shirt with the word "CANCER" or "AIDS" in bold across the front. Go around shooting people saying, "You just got killed by CANCER!"
Why You Don't Want To Wear It Remember why you shouldn't wear the other costume? Same reason here. And this costume actually has the ability to backfire on you, too. You: [bang][bang] "You just got killed by Cancer!" Dude that is about to beat you up: "No I didn't!" [punch][kick][you fall on the floor, bleeding] "I just cured Cancer!"
Drink Driver How To Make It This costume will take the most time to create. You're going to need a cardboard box for the body of the car and some string so you it can hang off of your shoulders. Leave enough slack so the box is right around your waist. Get some markers to add detail to the car… the more crushed up the better. Eyeballs crushed inside bumpers, you know what I'm talking about. Use cardboard to make objects like fire hydrants, light poles or people and tape them to the front of the car. Obviously, you should have booze in your hand at all time. This costume also has options. If you get tired of telling people you are a plain drunk driver, you could simply say "I'm Mel Gibson, the Jesus Christ Motherfucking Superstar, what's it to you"
Why You Don't Want To Wear It Do I even need to write this again? Unless you want to be a Public Service Announcement, most people don't want to be reminded of how their night will end.
Frank Solich This is another spin-off of the Drunk Driver. Make the car the exact same way, but also make a steering wheel out of cardboard and tape it to your forehead. You're also going to need an Ohio t-shirt and a clear glass with a colored, plastic capsule floating inside of it. You know, for the roofie.
Why You Don't Want To Wear It Why not? Go for it!
If you choose to wear one of these costumes and actually DO get laid please email me. Then I can make fun of you for having to rent a prostitute.
But since you're much smarter than that, what kind of repulsive costumes are in that twisted fucking minds of yours? What hilarious costumes have you seen in the past? What are you planning for this year?
Another bad Idea - Dude as Sexy Nurse, Cop, Bunny
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Post #: 1
Posts: 448 Rank: 19 Joined:
8/5/2007
Location:
La Crosse, WI
Posted: 10/9/2007 10:03:24 AM
We get it you think it would be funny to dress like a Playboy bunny and Tuck in your junk. Lets make it even easier, go Bobbt on that thing and really sell the Costume.
You want to dress like a chick, be like all the other senators and keep it secret, do it on your own time, and as far away from me as possible.
The one flaw in your costume.. Chicks don't have Dicks.
Posts: 2115 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 10/9/2007 11:19:09 AM
This really opens up some great games here.
Bad ideas: Pregnant nun. Why? Because Jesus will smite you. A Flasher. Why? Because no one wants to see your hairy stomach. O.J. Simpson. Why? You can kiss any chance of hooking up with a white chick goodbye.
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