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Superbowl XL Halftime GO STEELERS!
MIAMI, FL (TPP): NFL planners were proud to announce that this year's Super Bowl match up will boast a three and a half hour halftime show with performances by Prince and special guests Keith Urban, Lyle Lovette, Elvis Costello, The Atari's, Rubin Studard, The Dixie Chicks, Bowling for Soup, Jeff Foxworthy, Beyonce Knowles, Destiny's Child feat. Beyonce Knowles, Jay Z w/ Beyonce Knowles, Molly Hatchet w/ Beyonce Knowles, David Hasslehoff, Justin Timberlake, and many others yet to be named. The 3+ hour halftime extravaganza is also said to be hosted by football favorites Ryan Seacrest AND Carson Daly.
"Making the United Way $ale-Ebration halftime show possible has taken several months to prepare."stated Andy McNamara NFL liaison and Halftime planner. "We spent months just deliberating with owners. We asked for a six week extension between the championship games and the Super Bowl but we had to settle for two. There's hardly any time to get ready for this great football match up. We just wanted time to construct the 16 ton stage. 4000 lights, and 20 ton pyrotechnics. We really love football."
Newly appointed NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was reluctant to give away any of the surprises in this his first Super Bowl as Commissioner. "The halftime show for Superbowl XLI will include a bevy of musical stars with many yet to be named." he started "Without giving away too much let me just say that the game time temperature in Miami is said to be a sizzling "98 degrees" and I just hope that the players are "N-Sync" enough to handle it." He then winked... Several times... Until it became uncontrollable. Then he said "N-Sync" and 98 degrees are reuniting... I think... I think I'm having a stroke." He then collapsed on the Tostitos sponsored floor.
Players remained fiercely divided about the prospect of waiting 3+ hours to finish the game. Indianapolis Colt's quarterback Peyton Manning said "I fucking love N-Sync! Those guys are so magnificent. I can't believe they are getting back together for this! I might not even leave the field at halftime...Just kidding. But I am seriously gonna hang out backstage before hand. I want Joey Fatone to sign one of my cheeks... You know...on my face...Right?...I gotta go!"
N-sync and Peyton Back in College
Conversly Bears Linebacker Brian Urlacher was less than happy with the longer halftime "Urlacher not pleased! Urlacher smash stage.... Me no like pop music ...Too commercial... No substance... Me smash...Urlacher SMASH!!!" He then smashed a nearby Gatorade Sponsored table on to a Nike Sponsored table.
For whatever reason rock legend Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones, who have played in past Super Bowl's, were both denied a spot in the line up after requesting one. "We appreciate that they've played here before" stated Andy McNamara "But this years Super Bowl halftime show is going appeal to a younger crowd. So instead of older groups like, The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, or Pear Jam, we've booked Hanna Montana and are proud to announce the debut of Timmy Tunez." Timmy Tunez is a 14 month old singer who Nickelodeon is grooming to be the next big thing. "He's just started talking this month. This show should be great!"
While this years Super Bowl halftime show is creating quite the buzz, next years Super Bowl halftime show planning is already underway. "Our plans right now is to see if we can get the 3rd and 4th quarters of the game either eliminated," Says McNamara "or played later in a different stadium. Were even trying to convince the owners to play the game ahead of time on a tape delay so the stage wouldn't have to be put together in such an inartistic fashion.
In any event all eyes will be on Miami on Sunday February 4. February which is sponsored by Under Armour.
Posts: 1069 Rank: 12 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
two up two down, VA
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:25:01 AM
reason: grossman.
did anyone else notice the "thanks for not fucking it up" looks he was getting from lovie & team at the end of the game during the celebration while rex wandered around the field like he was on the set of the movie "drumline" ?? yeesh. the word you are looking for begins with an "a" and ends with a "wkward"
unfortunately this scenario isn't too far from the real deal. fortunately for me, my wife makes kick-yo-ass chili.
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:30:26 AM
Hey son, we already have a token black guy, his name is Deuce. We all like Deuce, he’s humorous, well mannered and speaks proper English. On the other hand we do not have a token midget which is kind of what you look like with that little arm and big head. Anyways take a couple English lessons and let me be the first from TPP community of commenters to welcome you as our token midget.
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