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LOS ANGELES- Director/performer Frank Oz expressed his surprise and disappointment upon learning this week that the Fozzie Bear segment that he had recorded for the documentary film The Aristocrats would not be included on the Special Edition DVD release in January. Oz’s segment was cut from the theatrical version of the film, but he had apparently received assurances from producer Paul Provenza that the Fozzie footage would be included as an extra when the film finally came to DVD.
“I’m stunned,” Oz said. “Okay, I can understand why it wasn’t in the first version. You’ve got three-dozen comics and a limited amount of time. But to have me come in and record this and leave it sitting on the cutting room floor just makes absolutely no sense. I mean, that’s why DVD was invented!
“Not to mention, the bit was really funny. It starts out with the curtain opening, and Fozzie’s standing there, just like in the old days, and he goes into his act- ‘Hiya, Hiya, hiya! You’re a wonderful audience! You know, a funny thing happened here at the Muppet Theater the other day. There was a knock at the stage door, and when Kermit went to answer it, he saw a moose standing there! The moose says, “Mr. Frog, have I got an act for you! You’ll love it!” So Kermit invites him in to do the act. The moose comes in, followed by his wife, who’s a donkey! Then their kids- a pig, a dog, and a penguin named Bathsheba. The act starts out with the penguin giving the moose a hand-job to get him good and hard…’ And it just sort of goes on from there.
“I will admit that maybe it was a bad idea to include the part with Statler and Waldorf. For one thing, it throws off the rhythm of the joke. Also, it makes the whole thing a little too mean-spirited. But, you know, Statler and Waldorf haven’t been funny since Jim and Richard died anyway, so they could have just cut around it.
Apparently not a Muppet
“In any case, I’m pretty insulted that they left it out after all the hard work that went into it,” Oz continued. “That puppet is heavy, you know. And hot. And I’m not as young as I used to be. Besides, do you know how hard it was to get two grown men coordinated enough to make a puppet do that little finger snap thing that Drew Carey ‘invented’? It’s not like I can do both hands myself. It just seems to me that if they’re going to say it’ll be in, they should put it in. It’s making me wonder if people in show business aren’t slightly dishonest sometimes.”
“Yeah, Frank’s pissed, I know,” said The Aristocrats co-producer Penn Jillette. “But, hey, what’re you gonna do? It was either we include the Fozzie bit, or we show all 45 minutes of Saget. It was a tough call, but I stand by it. Besides, there’s always the Limited Edition Collector’s Version in May. Or the Special Platinum Edition next November. Frank’s stuff will get out there eventually.”
Other deleted scenes that have been included on the disc include a home movie of Garry Shandling telling the joke to a fellow guest at the wedding reception of “Simpsons” producer Al Jean, an audio recording of George Burns telling it to a shocked and confused Catskills audience (played over production stills from Oh God! You Devil!), and amateur video of Orny Adams telling the joke on a street corner while dancing for nickels.
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